*gets down on one knee. Pulls out the trusty old Raven Ring and presents it.* Nevermore!
Nevermore? What do you mean nevermore? You’ve never been more embarrassed? You’ve never been more disgusted at the prospect of a long life with me?
Nevermore!
Just take the ring. Do you have any idea how much this bird’s head cost me? You don’t love me?
Nevermore!
Screw it. That’s the last time I practice my Edgar Allen Proposal to a bird!
Read more “Raven Ring”
These Skull Potion Bottle Necklaces are like little pickled skulls that you want to just pick out with a tiny fork and put in your mouth. No? Just me? That’s not weird right? These things are potions that you hang around your neck. I don’t know. They restore your health and give you mana and stuff in case you’re fighting a boss monster.
I’m just assuming. I’ve never fought a boss monster. But I did get married once and it took a lot of potion to get past that beast. Potion made by a wizard named Jack Daniels.
These Flying Bats Necklaces from BellaMortaJewelry will put a whole bevvy of bats on your buxom bosom. I can practically hear them chittering and flapping their wings as they whoosh away into the twilight. I wish I was one of them. I want to be free like the bat, but every time I sleep hanging upside down I wake up on the floor with a neck injury.
Read more “Flying Bats Necklaces”
These Scary Layered Silhouette Necklaces from CuriologyJewellery are pretty cool. I wish I could create cool stuff like this, but I work in “crayons and glue on the paper plate” medium. Occasionally I dabble in glitter on glue. And even though I’ve won several awards from the local kindergartens, I don’t let it get to my head.
These are perfect for Halloween or just everyday wear. Nothing wrong with that.
This jewelry has bite. How annoying would I be with these Gold And Silver Vampire Rings? Putting my hands against people’s necks and telling them, “I want to suck your blood!” before getting punched in the Nosferatu. It would be pretty cool to wear these vampire choppers.
I’ll give one to my special vampire girl and she’ll say, “Fangs a lot! You really stoke the fires of my heart.”
Is your heart named Bram? Cuz I’m a real Bram Stoker and you have all the right vampire lestats!
Read more “Gold And Silver Vampire Rings”