These Petrifying Parody Books are parodies of popular bedtime story books that have a dark and creepy twist. Cuz it’s never too early to get your kids into monsters and horror. You can choose from classics like Goodnight Goon and The Runaway Mummy. Kids are going to love these. Parents will love them. There’s nothing wrong with a little walk on the dark side before bed.
Tag: kids
Weird 3D Puzzle Human Body Organ Game (With Background Music)
Yeah, this game doesn’t seem weird at all. This won’t scar kids for life. This Weird 3D Puzzle Human Body Organ Game (With background music) teaches kids about the body and organ`s. Also teaches them that the world is gross. Here’s how you play: each person picks an organ card and puts the organ back into body. If it fits in the body, then turn to the next player, if it is wrong organ, lookout, the body starts trembling and you likely have a malpractice suit coming. All the organs fly out. Damn!
Here is an actual quote from the item page:
With sound and voice, horrible music creat a nervous atmosphere.
Now I’m sold. Though I’m not sure what creat means. It has music and body parts flying everywhere. Who wants to play with me? This goes well with these anatomical pint glasses. Have a drink while organs are flying.
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Toys For Little Creepers – Plush Skeleton Dolls
I can’t decide if these Plush Skeleton Dolls are cute or creepy, but that one guy in the back with no face… Nightmare fuel! Look at them. Just one big happy family with momma skeleton holding them all on a rocker. They’re tight too. Nobody makes fun of no-face or calls him names like Void or Spaceface, but you can tell that even they are creeped out by him. Did you know that plush skeletons grow up to become all rigid and bony, losing all of their plushy flesh by 12 years old? True story.
Do you think that pumpkin stole that kids face? Damn. Now I’m more weirded out by the pumpkin. Probably took his soul too. Yeah, that pumpkin is the real power behind the throne. There’s some messed up stuff going on here.
C Is for Cthulhu: The Lovecraft Alphabet Book
C Is for Cthulhu: The Lovecraft Alphabet Book is a beautifully illustrated, premium alphabet board book, that features monsters and characters inspired by the mythos of H.P. Lovecraft. It will teach your kids their ABCs.
Want some ABC gum?
What’s that?
Already Been Chewed!
Eww you’re gross.
Suit yourself. More for me. This gum has been chewed and passed down to the chosen one since the dawn of time and chewing gum. The germs make me stronger.
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Pocket Pets: Roach On The Go
Oh yeah, this is a great idea. Give your kid a pet roach that he can hang out with. That’s not weird at all. There’s no way your kid is gonna be an outcast as he walks around with his little pet roach, talking to it in hushed whispers. Then again, my parents gave me a whole house full of roaches and I turned out alright.
Except for my fear of roaches and my waking from a dead sleep so I can slam a shoe against the floor like a madman. There’s also the constant itching, but hey I need to exfoliate anyway right? It’s all good. Anyway, get your kid a little pet roach, cuz, you know, your kid isn’t weird enough. Pocket Pets. Cuz your kid doesn’t need friends.
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