Tag: makeup

Holy Mackerel: Fish Zipper Pouch / Coin Purse

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Holy Mackerel Fish Zipper Pouch Coin Purse
Holy Mackerel. This Fish Zipper Pouch is exactly what I need when I go fish shopping.

“That will be $45 sir.” (I buy a lot of fish.) “I see a fish sticking out of your pocket sir! Did you steal that?”

“$45.That’s an outrage!” *Pulls my fish pouch out and slaps her with it.* Whoops! That didn’t make the squishy sound I expected on your face. Of course, I didn’t steal this one. It’s a pouch. I stole this one!”

*Whips a fish out of my other pocket and slaps her with it. Runs for the exit.*
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Creepy Compact Mirrors

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creepy Compact Mirrors
MirrorsByMiMi sells some pretty cool compacts, many of them Creepy Compact Mirrors with Gothic themes. They have spiders, Medusas and skeletons and more. Flip it open and put on your makeup ladies, cuz I know you are all gunning for this stud.

Speaking of guns. *Flexes my arms, raising them above my head. Kisses them. Lowers them all out of breath.* I need more practice before I do that again. I think I threw my back out.
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Bat Compact Mirror

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Bat Compact Mirror
This Bat Compact Mirror will make putting on your makeup even more fun. It’s just you and your bat-mirror, fixin’ up that face! Well I- No, let me get a word in- I didn’t mean your face isn’t pretty already. I’m just saying that bats are great makeup wingmen, because they actually have wings. This compact is all kinds of Victorian, steampunk, bat punk, gothic, not to mention I just ran out of adjectives.

If I were a woman, I’d be putting on makeup all day long just so I could use this cool mirror and brag how cool it is, and be snooty, and talk about how beautiful I am. Yeah, I would be a B**ch… A b**ch with an awesome accessory, that you don’t have! Am I right ladies?
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Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder

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Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder
You know, some girls look like monsters before they put on their makeup. Not you. You are beautiful. Never change. But some girls. Like that one down the street with the unibrow, who I never see during full moons, yet her front yard is always covered in chicken carcasses the day after. Yeah, that one is a real minger! Don’t tell her I said so. Anyway, this Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder is perfect for all of you beautiful and lovely creepbay-reading ladies who love monsters. Now you can put your face on with Dracula, the mummy and the rest of the gang.

Dragon Wing Makeup Cosmetic Bag

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dragon Wing Makeup Cosmetic Bag
People, people! How many dragons have to die each year so you can have your Dragon Wing Makeup Cosmetic Bags? You are leaving thousands of dragons wingless to slither across the earth and never leap into the sky again! You are basically making them lizards! Hmmm. The world does need lizards. Nevermind. I guess it’s all fine. Plus, these bags are friggin’ cool. At least we don’t serve dragon wings up by the plateful during superbowls. So nevermind. carry on.
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