You know, some girls look like monsters before they put on their makeup. Not you. You are beautiful. Never change. But some girls. Like that one down the street with the unibrow, who I never see during full moons, yet her front yard is always covered in chicken carcasses the day after. Yeah, that one is a real minger! Don’t tell her I said so. Anyway, this Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder is perfect for all of you beautiful and lovely creepbay-reading ladies who love monsters. Now you can put your face on with Dracula, the mummy and the rest of the gang.
Tag: travel
Antique Skull Travel Cases
These Antique Skull Travel Cases are a cool way to creep out the TSA while traveling.
Whatcha got in there?
Nothin’.
Mind if I take a look.
I would rather you not.
Open up the case sir.
It was your idea. You open it. *Backs up slowly.*
*Guy hits the buttons and the case lid flies open. Two midgets in full clown costumes climb out. One of them kicks the guy in the nads. As he’s doubled over, the other midget clown pushes the dude, who falls into the suitcase, screaming as if he’s falling forever. Both midget clowns climb back inside and close the lid.*
*Looks around airport. Tries to act nonchalant.*
We all good guys?
*There’s a knock on the suitcase from inside.* Awesome. *Goes on my way, whistling.*
Cool And Scary Traveler’s Bags
These travel bags from Etsy seller creatureog are kinda scary and spooky. You carry a bag like this and people will think you are a witch, or a gypsy. Me, I don’t rush to judgement.
What about that time you outed a witch at the grocery store?
Yeah well she got like $700 in groceries for $1.98. Tell me that wasn’t witchcraft!
They were filming Extreme Couponing for TLC.
Witchcraft! And if you say otherwise I’ll burn you at the stake!
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Toilets Of The World Book
This Toilets Of The World Book is like a travel book for your privates. I like to get a hot cup of tea and relax as I page through it, acting out the noises my bowels would make in each unique toilet. Which isn’t as easy as it sounds.
For instance, when I drop bombs in the traditional English ‘thunderbox’ is it prone to splashing? Does it echo ever so slightly? How cold is my bottom? What about the Swazi thatched ‘beehive’ hut? Is it low on water, causing my sadistic and stinky soft-serve to mound on itself until a roughly shaped beehive is formed?
Oh how I love the travel of the mind. I feel like I am there. And lighting a match.
Human Anatomy Suitcases
Fans of human anatomy will love these cool yet icky looking suitcases from space24retro, showing off the human body and the fact that we are all just bags of meat and bone all walking around looking weird as hell under our skin. The human anatomy suitcase. Perfect for traveling…long trips to the doctor’s office or a visit to the coroner.
Hopefully they don’t provoke the TSA into giving you a firsthand lesson in human anatomy. No one likes the tickle the colon from the inside game.
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