Tag: morbid

Quack The Ripper Taxidermy Duckling

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quack the ripperBetter call Scotland Yard. This looks like the work of Quack The Ripper, London’s most notorious killer duckling. It’s not every day you see a duck go on a murderous rampage. Unless you frequent Etsy of course.

The tag line for the imminent movie version of this Etsy listing is “Scotland Yard is on the case, but this duck don’t give a f**k!” Would you pay to see it? I know you would. What’s wrong with you people? I’m just seeing it because it’s a chick flick! Duckling, chick… Close enough.
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Necronomicon Tablet Cover: Protect Your iPad, Doom The World

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necronomicon coverHey, thanks for the Necronomicon tablet cover. What a great gift! Now every time I play Angry Birds I’m opening a portal to some ancient and evil place. No, really, I’m enjoying it. Just what I wanted. I love getting choked by a Cthulhu tentacle in the middle of the night as it reaches out of my tablet. Know what else I love? Coming home from work and finding cultists in a circle in my livingroom playing Fruit Ninja and eating all my snacks.

Oh man, those veins on the cover are bulging. *A dark wind is kicking up, swirling about a nasty sulfur smell* This ain’t good! Yeah, I really love my gift you a**hole. Next time get me a blender. Hold on to some furniture! Prepare for what I like to call a demon fart!
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What The Cluck?: Mask Made Of Chicken Skin

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chicken skin maskDamn, that’s nasty. Do you want chicken face? Well, you can have chicken face. With this freaky chicken skin mask, you can freak everyone the hell out! Especially chickens. I’m way behind on my TV viewing. Is this from the latest American Horror Story? Cause that one involves a chicken masked serial killer this year right? I’ll check on that.

Anyway, this nightmare inducing mask is made of actual chicken skin and will fit “a small framed woman’s face”. Sorry large guys, you’ll have to find your serial killer creeper mask elsewhere. Damn, that’s nasty. Plus, you wasted the tastiest part of fried chicken.
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Pulp Fiction Rodent Taxidermy

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Pulp Fiction Rodent TaxidermyPulp Rodents! These furry little badasses are taxidermy rodents that look like Vincent and Jules. They have tiny suits with ties and even tiny pistols. They are probably arguing about a quarter-pounder with cheese while blowing some dude’s head off.

Looks pretty good. I’m guessing the seller put clothes and little guns by mouse-holes, only to find out that those losers never want to cosplay. The joke is on them, because in death, you will be made to wear this stuff. It is just the vicious circle of life.
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Dead Doll In A Coffin

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dead doll in a coffinTurn your dollhouse into a funeral home with this $61. dead doll in a coffin.

Dolly was a good doll. Even though she was a simple woman, she enjoyed retreats to Barbie’s more upscale Malibu beach home and never complained when little Sally made her make out with Ken, straining her relationship with her old friend Barbie. She never got over their falling out. Dolly was found on the top floor of her victorian dollhouse, swinging from the rafters. A note was left on a miniature table beside her. It was too small to read.

Sad story.
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