This skull business card holder is perfect for undertakers and such. It really makes an impression and insures that they won’t just throw out your card when they leave. Nothing says repeat business like cards in a human skull.
The cards really should have a brain design though. And the person should have to reach deep into the skull to get one and get their hand all squishy and wet. See, this is why my businesses never get off the ground.
How about a lil bit o’ the elf what thieved ya? What doya say Govner?
In the mid 19th century, many Northern European homes had issues with elves, the epidemic was not dissimilar to the infestation of rats or mice that many homes endure today. In the autumn if 1877, an impoverish farmer noticed his small savings of coins were rapidly dwindling despite the fact that he’d spent none of it. Fed up, he set a trap, days later he caught a small elf. As punishment for stealing his coins the old farmer lobbed off the creatures hand, still holding the man’s stolen coin. Countless attempts have been made to remove the coin but it remains today, still clutched in the grasp of the creature severed limb.
So I says to him…I don’t right know if at was the elf what thieved me…but he ad a hand init!
Read more “Well Preserved Thieving Elf Hand With Coin”
Damn! I had no idea that the next Mad Max was being filmed in the swamp. Calling it now! Gatordome! Two gators enter, one gator leaves. And there’s a tailgater outside. Seriously that’s a croc.
I’ll tell ya what’s not a croc. This veil. This Gator veil can be worn to swampland funerals and Bayou barbecues, but don’t wear it to Louisiana lunches, cause Louisiana lunches only have one thing they’re serving up. That’d be you gator-bait!
Later alligators, after while Tetris tile.
Read more “Gator Veil: Worn On The Bayou, Lord, Lord”
Please mother. Stop arguing with me. I will find a nice girl soon. You haven’t even touched your dinner. Not again mother! Why must you always fall out of your chair? You are so tense and stiff as a board. Yes, mother. Yes I will look for another victim today. Stop laughing. *Covers ears* Stop laughing at me! I’m a good boy! A good boy! Your good boy will bring home another victim and you’ll see.
2 months later…
I tricked you mother! You are now for sale on Etsy. Once they buy you I will never have to hear your nagging again! Besides, I need more time with dad. Even though all he does is drink. Now where is he hiding? Oh yeah. That’s right. Mom! Where’s the shovel?
Read more “Life-Size Posable Corpse”
This handmade Twisty The Clown mask will let you cosplay as that lovable serial killing kook from this year’s American Horror Story. Everybody’s like, “He’s just misunderstood…blah blah blah…Isn’t Jessica Lange just brilliant?”
Fun fact about Twisty. He earned his name in the bread factories of 1950s America, where he was responsible for tying the bag off with twist ties. During his early clown days he would make animals out of twist ties and hand them to little children who would prick their fingers and bleed, before ingesting them to create jobs for the local hospitals.
Read more “Twisty the Clown Hard Replica Mask”