Mutant Dinosaur Poops Out Mickey Mouse

dinosaur pooping mickey mouseWTF? Just what you want to get your kid. A plush mutant dinosaur all cobbled together from various animals. Oh and did I mention that it is pooping Mickey Mouse from it’s blowhole? Hey, it also has cave drawings on it’s skin. Otherwise known as a Jurassic Tattoo.

I know how this guy feels. Reminds me of the time I gorged myself at Disney World. After a half hour of sitting on the porcelain throne, I did a Mickey myself. A huge Mickey. Had some peanut ears and everything. Then I overdid it again that night and did a Minnie, followed by a Donald. Then a Huey, Duey and Louie. I could have held it in, but I ain’t no Scrooge McDuck.

See more of this monstrosity below.
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Creepy Cyborg Barbie With Arm Whipping Action

Cyborg BarbieBarbie is a role model for anorexic girls everywhere. The doll has probably done young girls more harm than a million Miley Cyrus’ twerking ever could. That’s why it would be awesome if the Borg assimilated her. Resistance is futile b*tch. Go ahead and run into your Malibu beach house. They will find you and you will become part of the collective.
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Kuato Total Recall Mutant Cosplay

Kuato Total Recall CosplayKuato. He’s like Chucky, but more grotesque and baby-like. Now you can have Kuato on your very own stomach for $149.99. This thing is giving me ulcers and stomach pains just looking at it. I feel like I have my own Kuato bursting out of my gut. You know what? That was just my noon burrito. Ever since lunch I’ve been the star of my own movie called bloatal recall. Oh the pain! Make sure you click through for a super special treat.
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Naked Mutant Carpooling Super-Model Horsey Ride Painting

horsey rideYeah. Horsey rides! This painting is of a family of mutants off to the grocery store since it’s been a long winter. Don’t believe me? Check out that rib cage.  These are either mutants on the way to the store or super-models heading to their next gig. If you all puke forward, you’ll go much faster. Slip ‘n slides are fun.
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