At last, I have a use for condoms. See that? You were wrong mom! I WILL use one. Just not in the way you thought. And not with a woman.
Now you can store your data in a condom, instead of your peen. 8GB? Phaw! I need a Magnum because I’m packing 16GB. Only $15.50 from Amazon.
Read more “8GB Condom USB Flash Drive”
Underwear cookies. Edible undies! Tidey Whiteys! They start out white, but after a while they are just a well traveled road covered in skid marks and yellow oil stains from accidents. Accidents are gonna happen on any road. You can say, “Fix our roads. What do we pay taxes for?”, but really you are just too cheap to buy new underwear. And by you, I mean me.
To Etsy seller SugarLaneBakeShop, I say this. I want to eat your undies! All of them. Not ashamed to say it.
Read more “Underwear Cookies: Just Wait’ll We Get Our Hanes…In You”
There’s no better prank then putting a monster in someones toilet. It plays on the primitive fear that we all have about monsters attacking us when we are at our most vulnerable. Besides, everyone knows that toilets are nothing but monster portals to other realms, with poop going one way and demons riding the wave and going the other. We are potentially a target with each and every flush.
This Toilet Monster pops out when they lift up the seat and comes in red and green.
Etsy seller PrimAndGrim obviously has a real soft spot for making weird stuff. You know who else has a soft spot? Each one of those baby dolls. That’s where she jammed the lights into their heads. Now she probably hangs this string of brightly lit, decapitated rugrats up in her studio and performs weird Etsy rituals that summon buyers who have a taste for the strange.
I had a taste for the strange once. Wife solved that by clubbing me over the head a few hundred times. Now I only have eyes for her. That was a bonus true love story. Now I have a soft spot too.
Read more “Creepy Baby Doll Head String Lights”
What can I possibly say about this illegal alien mask that won’t come off as rascist? Hmmm. Let’s just look at the Amazon reviews. There are 2. The first basically says, “THIS MASK IS RACIST!” Because, you know, people are just waiting to be offended. Relax Mister heart attack waiting to happen. It’s just a pun.
The second review rightly points out that neither the ad nor the mask give any hint as to the alien’s race, religion or ethnic group. So take that first reviewer. Plus it is an alien. And the only race that aliens have is to see who can get here first and slice up cows for science. Enough said.