So… That happened. The Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man wants to be your new favorite holiday decor. Looks like they have a good ginger bread train going there. All aboard! Choo choo! If you’re gonna do the whole human centipede thing, I guess being a ginger bread man is the way to go. That way, all you taste is ginger bread, instead of you know, butt. I love that guy’s face in front. He’s all like, “Holy shizz! I did not see my day going like this!”
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Tag: novelty
Alien vs Predator Pin
Oh damn!!!!! Burn! OH NO HE DIT INT! Snap! I guess he told you! The ghost of Michael Jackson is not gonna be happy about this Alien vs Predator Pin. Not one bit.
Addam’s Family Candle Set
They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky. They’re all together ooky. Uncle Fester took a dookie. The Addams Family…. Holy Morticia, this is a cool Addam’s Family Candle Set. The candle light shows through the images, making them look all extra scary. What kind of a name is Wednesday Addams anyway? Who names their kid after a day of the week? I guess it’s better than calling your kid “hump day”. These candles are going to look awesome in your home. Especially if your shelves are like mine and full of cobwebs cuz you don’t clean. My houses is haunted. By laziness.
Crocheted Freddy Krueger
Exerience the softer side of Freddy with this cute Crocheted Freddy Krueger. He kind of looks like an old man with that hat. Like he’s retired and playing golf in Florida somewhere with other retired movie slashers. The only nightmare on elm street these days are when his back pain is flaring up. Or when the weather makes his joints hurt. Hell, I’m not even scared of him anymore. He probably plays cards with my grandmother and bitches about the price of just about everything. I kinda feel sorry for him. Maybe he’s in an old folks home, drooling in some chair, lazily slashing at the air, reliving his glory days. Mouthing some words that no one can understand. Taking his pills every night.
See. Nothing to be scared of. Unless this is all part of his game to lure me in… Now I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you guys and let you know if I get attacked by this old dude. Or if I end up playing Scrabble with him. Hey, why wouldn’t I play? I like winning. Dude’s a vegetable.
Godzilla Necktie
Stop stomping around the office you imbecile! And get those reports on my desk within the hour. Sorry boss, but this sweet Godzilla Necktie just kind of takes over, you know? I’m stomping around Tokyo. Those staplers and other company property that I just crushed with my feet? That’s Tokyo. I’ll get those reports to you within the hour sir.
Forty minutes later…
*Bursts through the bosses wall like the Kool-Aid man, with a loud monster shriek, flailing my arms as I drop the report on the desk.* I’m fired aren’t I? Yeah, I’ll just pack up my stuff. It’s been fun.