These Kill Time Coloring Books are designed to give you peace of mind. Did someone piss you off? Well, don’t yell and curse at them. Color your anger away and release the tension in your life by coloring some of the greatest horror kills of all time. That’s how you relieve stress like an adult. Don’t grab your machete, grab your crayons. Then go in for the kill.
Tag: odd
Gothic Horror Tarot Card Deck
Want a tarot reading? *Looks at the Gothic Horror Tarot Card Deck* Hells no! But thanks anyway. That’s some terrifying tarot right there. It even has Cthulhu. I think I’ll just stick to playing hearts with the seniors on Sundays. Not that I do that. And they don’t know that I don’t do that cuz alzheimer’s. It’s a win/win really. Anyway, this should be called a scare-o deck cuz I’m scared.
Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace
This Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace looks just like Freddy Krueger’s sweater and even has a little gravestone underneath. I don’t see what the big deal is. I had a nightmare on elm street once and yeah it was terrifying, but guess what? I moved. I didn’t make like 10 sequels about it. You make your own destiny. Like me. For a while I was starring in “Drunk on Church Street”. Then I moved on to “Recovering on Maple.” I move around a lot. Now I’m all about, “F*ck it. Face down on Main”. We are all our own master. Reach for the stars. And when ya can’t, reach for the bottle.
The Phantom of the Opera Playing Cards
Make your next card game a scary one with The Phantom of the Opera Playing Cards. You don’t have to host your card game backstage at an opera, but it helps. These are a limited edition so get them while you can. Only 666 decks were produced. Somehow I don’t think they arrived at that number randomly. Each deck has a unique serial number and certificate. The edges of cards are gold foiled. Nice. They are all classy and stuff.
The fearsome phantom drinks fanta from a fountain and it fizzles. Just wanted to say that. No reason. I’m such a card. Problem is the rest of the deck is missing.
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Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit
Make some zombie poetry with the Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit. Put your creations on the fridge or other metal surface. I don’t know about you, but I find zombie poetry to be beautiful and romantic. If I create zombie poetry and display it on my fridge, does that count as being published? I’m gonna say yeah. But I get too distracted by the fridge and leave my poetry half finished, but never my burrito. That always gets finished. I’m just no good under pressure and by that I mean I get all gassy and crampy and doubled over, until the pressure is relieved. Then it’s back to snacking while I stare at the words in a kitchen that smells like a trash heap.
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