These Scary Light Up Masks Will Have You In Stitches

These Scary Light Up Masks Will Have You In Stitches
You are gonna be the ultimate creeper and freaker at the rave thanks to these Scary Light Up Masks. Are they still doing raves? I have no idea. Maybe people just aren’t raving about them so I’m not hearing about them. These masks are pretty scary. I wouldn’t want to see one in a dark alley. Then again, there’s a lot of stuff I never want to see in a dark alley. Like a dude wielding a knife, a gun or the unexpected exposed weiner. All of those scenarios get worse when the perp is wearing a mask like this. Send shivers down my spine.

Morphine Mug

Morphine Mug
At last I have a mug for my morphine! A Morphine Mug! *Takes a sip* Oh ho, that’s good stuff… *Hears a distant birdsong. Sees pretty colors as my eyes slowly close.* IIIIIIIIIIII have become… Comfortably numb… *wakes up with a jolt* Where was I? Oh yeah, I was in a hollowed out tree in 18th century france, playing strange games with the fuzzy electric bunnies, but that’s not important right now. My point is, this is a pretty cool mug. *Drifts off again.*

Burial Bath – Death and Decay Soap – Why Not?

Burial Bath - Death and Decay Soap
Burial Bath – Death and Decay Soap. For when you really want to get clean, but you want to feel… Unclean? Dead? Decayed? I have no idea, but zombies would love it. If they took baths, Which they don’t. They should though. Cuz they are rant. Like walking city dumpsters in the summer. Take this zombie. Have yourself a bath. Burn those clothes too. That cheap Made In China shizz is decomposing faster than you are. Didn’t any of you die in quality threads? Oh yeah, Walmart.

Skeleton Necktie

Skeleton Necktie
Check out this Skeleton Necktie. You are a skeleton so you should wear a skeleton. This skeleton is just hanging out by a mantle all bored thinking about who he’s gonna bone next. Ha. That was a good one. I would wear this and call him Cal. Then I’d talk to him. I’d be like,”You see those guys Cal?” and he’d be all like, “Cal see ’em! Cal see ’em boss!” Ha ha ha ha ha. Calcium.

Friday The 13th Beer Glass Chug Chug Chug Ah Ah Ah

Friday The 13th Beer Glass
Chug chug chug, Ah ah ah. This Friday The 13th Beer Glass has everyone’s favorite serial killer along with what he says when he’s chugging beer. The party doesn’t get started until Jason arrives. Dude is a party animal. The downside is that the party ends when he has killed everyone. So yeah, there’s that. Enjoy it while you can I guess.