This Golden Poop Emoji Bottle Opener is the shiny golden turd that will open all of your bottles. He looks happy about it too. The poop emoji is the best. He beats all other emojis cuz poop. Poop trumps everything. You know who wins in a game of rock, paper, scissors? Poop. Poop wins every time. I dare you to find a cuter gold poop that can pop your caps off.
Tag: odd
Teeth Pendant Necklace
This Teeth pendant necklace is a bunch of teeth and pink gums in necklace form. Why? Because the tooth fairy gets bored. And is also touched in the head. It will look real nice with a Christmas sweater and will probably chew any and all crumbs that you drop. Make sure you brush ’em day and night.
Phrenology Head Cufflinks
Phrenology is the study of the head. True science. You can learn a lot by looking at a head. Like if it has lice or hasn’t been washed in like 5 days. So totally true. These Phrenology Head Cufflinks honor this science and put some classic looking cue balls on your cuffs.
Go ahead, feel my head and tell me all about my metal disorders and personality traits.
*Touches my head and massages my scalp.* This spot says that you are a very creative person.
Nah, that’s just where I fell and hit my head. Although I was creatively doing Jackass stunts at the time and having my friend hit me in the nuts while going down a windy mountain road doing about 50 in a shopping cart.
This area is all about your sex life.
Is it small? Is it a tiny area? Yeah, then that’s accurate too.
See, it’s a real science. No doubt about it.
Skeleton Mask With Broken Ribs Eyeholes
What the hell? So you are really wearing someone’s skeleton as a mask? It’s got the pelvis, spine, even some broken ribs for eyeholes. Now that is a badass Skeleton Mask. Please tell me you didn’t go all alien predator and rip some midget’s bones out of his Oompa Loompa body and just wear it to some Eyes Wide Shut kind of Illuminati orgy party? You didn’t right? Nevermind, I don’t want to know. But I hope you won best costume.
Anyway, I’m outta here, so bone-swa or whatever the French say.
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Zombie Attack Cereal Bowl
I can vouch for the authenticity of this Zombie Attack Cereal Bowl. Looks authentic. I know cuz last week I was sitting down to enjoy some Lucky Charms when a zombie attacked me and sent Hearts, Stars, Horseshoes and Clovers flying all over the place. I bashed it’s head and killed it with nothing but my spoon. This is what my bowl looked like after. Otherwise, I never would have known that my bowl had a fleshy center.