Tag: odd

Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch

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Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch
Let me see what time it is. I don’t want to be late for- DEAR EFFING GOD! This Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch won’t give you the time, but it might give you a heart attack. What time is it guv-ner? You dare ask me for the time you timeless cretin? Here let me show you. *Guy screams and holds his head.* There’s the time! It’s teeth and tentacle time! Look closer! It’s half past horror and a quarter to insanity! Now off with you, before I show you the alarm function!

If this watch takes a licking,but keepson ticking, it can die,cuz I ain’t lickin’ that.

Horrorgami Paranormal Activity Book

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Horrorgami Paranormal Activity Book
This Horrorgami Paranormal Activity Book lets you make horror origami. So go ahead and cut and fold your own horrifying paper dioramas. It includes twenty terrifying scenes from classic horror films and books with step-by-step instructions and photos. This book is proof that paper can be terrifying. So are papercuts. I pass out at the sight of blood. So when I’m done with this book, it’s gonna look extra terrifying and I’m gonna be very well rested, with my head on every page.
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Nice Hippocampus – Brain Scan Leggings

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Brain Scan Leggings
If you don’t like these Brain Scan Leggings, you need your brain examined. You at least need a cat scan. Then once we are certain you aren’t a cat, we will examine you more and find out what your malfunction is. These are perfect, cuz if you have nice legs, my brain is always on your thighs anyway. So that’s my brain right there times like 40. It’s okay cuz I’m a neurologist. Cuz I’m neurotic.

Zombie Friendship Keychains – Apocalypse Partners

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Zombie Friendship Necklace - Apocalypse Partners
Freddy Mercury said it best. Friends will be friends… Kind of obvious in retrospect, but there you have it. Friends are friends. Right till the end. Sometimes that end is a zombie apocalypse, with you shooting your friend in the head because your BFF is a dirty rotten zombie. That’s the way it goes. Doesn’t mean you aren’t friends. Just means you don’t want them eating your brain. Anyway, this Zombie Friendship Keychains set signifies that you and your BFF are zombie apocalypse partners and that you vow to do whatever it takes when the zombies roam the streets. Even if that thing is splitting up and running when you see the undead.

Even though it means that you will never find each other again, while you live a harsh life of survival, doing whatever you have to to get by, so that 5 years later your shaggy bearded self checks the zombie traps you set (the ones where they step on a trigger and a blade swings down, chopping their heads off) only to find a headless zombie body and the other half of your keychain in its pocket.

*Tears* So sad. Still friends. But so sad.

Free Hugs – Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace

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Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace
There’s nothing like the cold dead embrace of skeleton arms around your neck. Except when your grave robbing and fall in and the skeleton hugs you like crazy while you’re just screaming and freaking out, but enough about my weekend. This Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace is like a bony hug all day long from a skeleton that loves you. There’s no guarantee that those bony hands won’t touch your boob and cop a feel now and then, but that’s the chance you take. Just smack its hand and it will behave. Maybe.
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