We’ve all been there. You’re minding your own business, reading the paper, trying to lay some pipeline when somebody opens the door. Hey. What the hell! That’s how this skeleton feels. The Skeleton Restroom Door Cover captures all of the excitement of skeletons pooping and lets you relive the scene all day long.
Hmmm. That headline reads, “Peeping Tom on the loose.” I think they mean this guy.
I find this Public Toilet Survival Kit very lacking in the real necessities for surviving a public toilet. Or should I say, pubic toilet since you will more than likely find some guys whole bush of pubes on the seat? My ideal public toilet survival items?
Magazine- I might be a while. Also helps to fan the stink around. Swat some flies.
Second magazine- This one you just throw in the toilet. It blocks other people’s nasty pee and poop larvae from splashing up into your butt more effectively than toilet paper. TP just does not prevent the upsplash after you drop a log.
Third magazine- I recommend a tabloid. In the event that the TP is out, you can smear some celebrity faces with your fecal fudge. The smile I get from smearing Kim Kardashian’s face with my brownie maker is priceless.
Use my 3 magazine system in conjunction with this survival kit and you will be just fine in even the nastiest bathroom.
Read more “Public Toilet Survival Kit”
This Toilets Of The World Book is like a travel book for your privates. I like to get a hot cup of tea and relax as I page through it, acting out the noises my bowels would make in each unique toilet. Which isn’t as easy as it sounds.
For instance, when I drop bombs in the traditional English ‘thunderbox’ is it prone to splashing? Does it echo ever so slightly? How cold is my bottom? What about the Swazi thatched ‘beehive’ hut? Is it low on water, causing my sadistic and stinky soft-serve to mound on itself until a roughly shaped beehive is formed?
Oh how I love the travel of the mind. I feel like I am there. And lighting a match.
Pinch a loaf to the sounds of Meatloaf. Sit there crampin’ with Peter Frampton. Fill the bowl to Billy Joel. This is all possible thanks to the Rest Room radio. Just sit back and enjoy the tunes.
Only $20 from Etsy seller YouJustMightNeedThis.
Read more “Squeezy listening: Rest Room Radio”