Tag: sexy

Sharkini Sexy Shark Costume / Bathing Suit

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sharkiniIf you can’t beat them, join them. In other words, we all know you are going to be bitten by a shark if you swim in the ocean, so you may as well wear a bikini with a shark bite taken out of it already. Makes sense. Maybe the sharks will leave you alone. No one likes leftovers.

Anyway, that’s what the sharkini is all about. Beating sharks at their own game. Those prehistoric toothy bastards scare me to death. Maybe I can use the sharkini to take a swim safely too. Nah. That would be a whale in shark’s clothing. Know what I’m sayin’? No? *sigh* Basically I’m fat and like comics. Happy now? For the record, I’m just big boned. Like fossils from the Jurassic period big. What of it?

Hey, check out that sharkini model. Can’t blame the shark for takin’ a bite outta that. Am I right?
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Roach covered Bustier: Your Trailer Park Wedding Is Complete

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roach bustierThis roach covered bustier is perfect for Halloween. If you already have a roach problem then you probably already own some clothing that looks like this. It’s also great for Trailer Park weddings, whether there’s a shotgun involved or not.

Very appropriate if both roaches and marriage make your skin crawl. Me? I’m total marriage material. That material just happens to be covered in roaches like this bustier.
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Nerds Candy Tunic Tank Dress With Nerd Glasses

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nerdsDamn. These Nerds look good. Show your love of Nerds candy by wearing a nerdy dress that hugs you in all the right places. I’m partial to Blue Raspberry myself. These girls seem like my kind of nerds. Maybe we can get together and have a nerd party. Love your packaging girl. Are you as sweet on the inside as you are on the outside? I’d love to pop your top and shake your sugary bits into my mouth.

*slap*

Hey, you dress up like Little Red Riding Hood, you are going to attract a Big Bad Wolf. Or in this case, dress like a nerd, attract a nerd.

Crazy Monster Hat With Claw Mittens

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monster hatThis awesome $129. monster hat is just waiting to transform you into a furry three-eyed monster so you can go all om-nom-nom on somebody. It comes with claw mittens so you can go all Wolverine on your prey too.

I have to say, this is the cutest monster I’ve ever seen and I applaud the choice of bra over a furry chest piece. You can hide under my bed any time you want. Just don’t attack while the bed is rocking. Wait 30 seconds when you hear me reach for a kleenex. Otherwise things could get awkward.

What? I have a cold. Been coughing a lot and rocking the bed. These fits usually last about a minute and happen once a night. I’m a sick sick man.
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I’ve Done All Of Those: 7 Deadly Sins Tattoo Tights

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7 deadly sinsThe 7 deadly sins. I have done and survived all of ’em. But I didn’t look that sexy doing ’em! Look at those gams! Holy cow! I used to be a butt man, but now I’m a leg man. She transformed me, just like that. You have some powerful legs, Miss Etsy model tease. Man I envy you-

Score! Did it again. I am breaking these commandments like a Kit-Kat Bar. Oh snap! Did it again. That would be gluttony for all of you keeping score at home. Cause I had like 10 Kit-Kats already today. That is also greed. Just layin’ here eaten ’em up. All sloth-like. Boo-Ya! You…Just…Can’t…Stop…Me!