These Zombie Stompers – Zombie High Heel Shoes are great for stomping zombies. Obviously. They have a cool gradient green design and graveyard scene. I mean, that’s how they start out anyway, but after you stomp a few zombies in the head, they’re going to be all red and gooey. You are walking death to the undead. Or would you be un-death to the undead? I’m confused.
Tag: shoes
Gothic Death Bug Shoes
Hey ladies, want some cool wedgies? Uh, I meant wedges? No, really. Yeah, I’m a real lady’s man. *sigh* Just a slip of the tongue. Didn’t mean to scare you. I’ve never hiked a woman’s underwear up over her pants or skirt. Which sounds sad, actually. Anywho, these Gothic Death Bug Shoes are dark and delightful. Death bug? I don’t know what a death bug is, but they are all death bugs to me, cuz I kill ’em dead. Sure, I scream first. Nothing wrong with that. I get the job done.
Dragon Head Flats
Aside from being an awesome band name, Dragon Head Flats are these cool shoes with dragons on them. Also sounds like a place with dragon skulls everywhere. “Hey man, I’ll race ya at dragon head flats!” I am so there. Sadly, these shoes don’t breath fire so you ladies are just gonna have to settle for the old fashioned “kicking us in the balls” when we misbehave, which is a lot. Cuz I’ll probably piss you off with puns like:
Hey you are really draggin’ today. Are you the mother of dragons? Cool, cuz I wanna be the dad.
Stuff like that, cuz I’m what they call an arsehole in the UK and an A-hole everywhere else. Sweet dragons though. You need like dragon print leggings to go with these. See? I offered a good tip. I’m not a complete A-hole. More like a B-Hole cuz I was never an A student, unless I was saying, “Aaaa this sucks.” which it did.
Cthulhu High Heels
These Cthulhu High Heels show off different representations of Cthulhu all over. Your soul may just be in jeopardy. Or your soles! Hey girl! Take a walk on the wild side! Doot doot doot doot de doot… Cuz you a true horror. And I mean that in the nicest way.
Hey, didn’t I see you at Miskatonic University? No kidding. How about you and me go get a Gin and Miskatonic then go back to my place for a little Lovecraft?
Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats
Heels are the real nightmare. Am I right girls? Not that I would know. These Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats will keep you close to the Earth and close to sleepy bye bye dream-time where Freddy lives. The molten flesh on the toes are a nice touch. Freddy approves. He will like them so much that he’ll say, “I’m your boyfriend now!”
I wonder if that burnt flesh gets all stinky on a hot summer day. It’s cool, cuz it masks the smell of your foot funk anyway. Its okay, we all got it.