Are you enjoying your tea? Excellent. Now it is time to consult the oracle that I like to call the Ouija Board Tea-Towel. Place it flat on the table please. Now we shall use a cups as a planchette.
Oh Ouija towel, doorway to spirits, what say you to this realm? *cup begins to move just as the guest spills tea all over the table.* Damn it! *Cleans it up with the Ouija towel.* Now we’ll never know what it was gonna say.
These Spooky Trees Halloween Wine Glasses are not only spooky, but scary too. An empty wine glass is a horrifying thing. Quick, fill me up. Ahhhh, that’s better. Again. Chop chop. We wouldn’t want my liver getting dry, now would we? Make like a tree and leave. Then come back with my drink. Don’t you bark at me. Hmmm. I just ran out of tree jokes. I’m gonna get to the root of my drinking problem, I swear. But I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that won’t be happening tonight. Give me another kind of drink. Gonna branch out. *Passes out*
It takes balls to see into the future. Crystal balls that is. These crystal balls are all smokey and creepy with images floating inside. Sweet! This will help me become a fortune teller. I see an eye. I see a skull. I see a raven. I also see that there’s a lunch special at that place across the street. Well, hurry up and pay me. I gotta eat!
This Ceramic Skull Plate is perfect for piling your plate high at some greasy all-you-can-eat joint, so that when you get to the bottom of the plate, this guy is looking back at you and covering his face all like, “Man, I can’t believe I ate all of that!”
You and me both buddy.
Cup o’ Fingers anyone? Anybody? No? Too gross? It’s all good, it’s just some creepy crochet that a creeper crafted up. I’m not much into finger food myself. I mean, I’ll eat it with my fingers, sure. Then wipe the grease all over my shirt. What? “Shirts ain’t nothin’ but giant napkins you wear!” Sage advice if I ever heard it. That little gem came from my 400 pound uncle. Probably not the best role model. He was so fat, he had trouble moving, basically had to sit still Buddha style and have food brought to him. Sometimes I would rub his tummy for luck as I passed by. That man wore the same napkin for 20 years… Until napkins stopped fitting him.