Let people know that Chupacabras use your yard as a highway with this Chupacabra Crossing Metal Yard Sign. Plus, it’s just polite to let people know so they don’t hit one with their car. No one likes cleaning Chupacabra guts off of their fender.
Tag: yard
Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout
Attach this Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout to your gutter pipe and this guy is gonna look like me on a Saturday night, except he is gonna be spewing water, whereas I am spewing spew. Cuz I party so hard. I party like a Gargoyle son! That means I sit around all day in one place and occasionally puke my guts out. All you can eat at the buffet (Their rules) mixed with all the liquor I can drink (My rules) makes for an interesting evening. Then it’s back to my sedentary lifestyle. So I can identify with this guy.
*Heaving over the toilet* Somebody hold my wings man.
Tombstone Herb Garden Markers
Make your herb garden look like a cemetery with these Tombstone Herb Garden Markers. I made a little poem about them: Here lies Rosemary, here lies Thyme, buried them both and got away with my crime. Yeah, that’s not very good. Besides, I would never hurt herbs. I’ve never committed herbicide in my life. These markers will give all of your garden critters the heebie-jeebies. Maybe the herbie-jeebies too.
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Concrete Cyclops Skull
Okay Cyclops Skull, keep an eye on the garden for me. Get it? If you do just say aye! I kid, I kid. I just like talking to my garden decorations. Say, I need to plug in the weed whacker. Do you have a spare socket? Zing! Burn! I got you so good. We are having so much pun. Wanna hear some music? I’ll get my eye-pad. Where is it? Hmmm. Keep an eye out for me will ya? Man, I crack myself up. *Drops skull in garden* Laterz. Eye have to go eat!
Next day…
*Walks out to the garden whistling. Trips over cyclops skull and gets impaled by a rake. Dying…* Eye…Eye…Eye sorry. Ha ha ha erg gasp choke gurgle dead.
Nibble My Bits Bird Feeder Garden Gnome
This Nibble My Bits Bird Feeder Garden Gnome will be a sight for sore eyes for my neighbors, whose eyes are sore because it’s usually me in the yard with birdseed in my pants, shouting at them to “Nibble my bits” you fargon iceholes! They never do.
I think they’ll welcome this little guy. Property values may even go up around here. What can I say, I’m a bird lover and why use a dish when I wear pants three sizes too big?