Take it from me ladies, you are going to look smashing wearing these Tarot Card Pendants. I know cuz I read your fortune. You are also going to meet a tall, dark, handsome man. It’s probably that guy who checked you out earlier. He’s a keeper. But he will hog the blankets at night. And chew with his mouth open. I know, I know, I see a lot of useless stuff, but it’s all true cuz my imagination powers the cards and the crystal ball. Oh and he also will never cook for you or clean, but seriously, he’s the one. I promise. You won’t regret it.
I’m hoping if I put that out there, one of you will run into me and settle for me, so I have it made. Okay, so who is gonna be my sugar mama?
Tag: strange
Embroidered Spider Web Necklace
Looking for a cute necklace cuz you are a spider-loving spider queen? Look no further than this Embroidered Spider Web Necklace. You know that Spider-Man would get one for his main spider squeeze and if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for all of us. Are you enamored with it? Embroidered by it? Yeah, it’s pretty obvious that I don’t know how to use words. But I know a cool necklace when I see one. You’re welcome.
Tentacles Of Terror – Kraken Bookends
I really need to get kraken on my reading. Get it? These Kraken Bookends will help me keep my books organized. Look at that tentacle just attacking that ship and breaking it in half. I bet he flexed his tentacle muscles afterward too, like “Yeah son! That’s what’s up! You just got krakalacka kracked! Boo-Ya!”
Freddy Krueger Slasher Pillow
This Freddy Krueger Slasher Pillow is cool and all, but how come everytime I lay my head on it, I wake up with slash marks on my face.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
And Freddy slashes at my cheek.
If I should die before I wake,
F-U Freddy my soul ain’t yours to take!
Get out my dreams you freak!
Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque
Mirror, mirror on the wall- What the? Either I just turned into a beautiful pale woman or there’s a ghost in my mirror. Hey baby. I would say, “My place or yours”, but clearly you already chose my place. This Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque will liven up your home. Hopefully she’s always stuck and doesn’t fully emerge one day. I’m gonna get one and hang my keys from her fingers, until she goes back into mirror-world one day and steals them. But that’s cool. She can get away with anything cuz I’m kinda attracted to her. Not that I have a ghost of a chance with her.