Wear this Miniature Necronomicon Book Pendant around your neck and summon some monsters and stuff. I tried that once, but the only thing I summoned was a big wet fart. Pro tip: Never mess around with this book. I thought it was a Necro-NOM-icon, as in om nom nom nom this cake is so good. Turns out it was not a cookbook. My mistake. I just wanted to summon a giant Oreo with stuffing the size of a backyard pool. I got that alright! I also got a giant tentacled monster from hell who was eating it.
Tag: strange
Zombie Cake Pops: Disgustingly Delicious
These Zombie Cake Pops make a nice change. For once I will be taking a bite out of a zombie, instead of a zombie trying to take a bite out of me. I’ll get your brains how do you like that? Fun fact: I thought Cake Pop was some weird Japanese pop music that I had never heard of because I never know about the cool stuff. Nope. They really are little cakes. That you can pop in your mouth! Here I come zombies. Your heads are mine.
Life Sized Coffin With Skeleton
This Life Sized Coffin With Skeleton makes a great yard decoration, especially around Halloween time. Not sure why he is covering up his junk like he’s all shy. I mean we all know he has a bone…er. The question is why? Was it you who excited him or me? I think it was me. It wouldn’t be the first time a skeleton found me attractive. What? It could happen. Throw me a bone here.
Poor guy’s coffin isn’t quite big enough. That’s gotta be uncomfortable. Remember coffin making dudes, measure twice, cut once. I measure three times and cut loose. Foot loose! Then I kick off your Sunday shoes. Even if it’s Monday.
These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump’s Combover
Few things in this life are as powerful and hefty as Donald Trump’s combover. Whether you are a Trump supporter or detractor, you can now own a pair of shoes that are seemingly inspired by The Donald’s hair. Gucci’s new Princetown Goat-Hair Mules are just… WTF. I don’t even know what to say about them. They cost $1,800, but if you are the kind of person wearing these, your therapist will cost a lot more. How did I know you had a therapist? Well, if you like these shoes, you need one. That’s for sure. It looks like you stepped on a pair of tribbles.
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Universal Monster Postcards
Send some monster mail with these Universal Monster Postcards. Cuz you know, monsters are universal. No, really. They are everywhere in the universe. Like Jesus. Even on Mars. I’ve seen the mummies on Mars and let me tell you, they don’t stop until you are dead. Never saw the Invisible Man though. Duh.
Anyway, these postcards are pretty cute representations of the Universal Monsters. All eight are here. Each card is full color and shows these horror icons in humorous scenes. Do you even snail mail bro?
Do the monster mash while sending some monster mail.