Tag: strange

Escalator Eats Turkish Man

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Escalator Eats Turkish Man
Our worst fears have come true. The machines are “awakening” and coming to life. Picking us off one by one just like in Stephen King’s Maximum Overdrive. Check out this security camera footage from a train station in Turkey that shows one of my worst nightmares. An escalator suddenly opens up and swallows a guy. (On the right. At 0:20) Damn. I guess that escalator got itself a little Turkish Delight for a snack. A large gap, or as I like to call it, a “machine mouth” opens up between the steps and just takes this guy down.

It took an hour to save him and he lived cuz machines suck at chewing their food. I’m taking the stairs from now on.
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Dark Unicorn Skeleton Necklace

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Unicorn Skeleton Necklace
I always wanted to ride into battle atop my own unicorn. I picture it impaling people with its horn, but really it would probably just run around the battlefield leaving a rainbow light trail and farting skittles. Still, it would be cool. For now I’ll settle for wearing this kick-ass Unicorn Skeleton Necklace. I like cuz it looks like a unicorn got hit by lightning and became a dark unicorn. An anti-unicorn that hunts others in its species so it can steal their light and colors. Ohhhhh. Spooky.

Kraken Tentacle Cane – Get Off My Lawn

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Kraken Tentacle Cane
Whoa! This Kraken Tentacle Cane is gonna make me one cool elder. Gonna buy it now and save it for when I get older. Any young whipper-snappers give me any guff and their gonna get it right in the lip. And by “it” I mean cold hard tentacles. Whack! Cuz old people can get away with that shizz. I’ll whack people left and right. What’d you say, son? Whack! I don’t like your tone. Whack! Gonna spend the whole day just whacking off.

Needle Felted Albino Vampire Bat Family

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Needle Felted Albino Vampire Bat Family
Awwww. This Needle Felted Albino Vampire Bat Family is the cutest set of little bloodsuckers. They look so soft and cuddly. At least until they bite your face and start sucking your blood. I don’t even care. I want to adopt the whole family. And since they want my blood, this should be very interesting.

Cthulhu Nesting Dolls – Matryoshka Madness

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Cthulhu Nesting Dolls - Matryoshka Madness
Holy matryoshka! Heed the call of Cthulhu with these cool Cthulhu Nesting Dolls. It’s a Cthulhu in a Cthulhi in a Cthulhu. Open each layer for more horrifying fun. It truly is the horror gift that keeps on giving.