Tag: style

Gothic Coffin Coin Purse

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Gothic Coffin Coin Purse
Some of you Goths are starting to get up there in age. It happens. Well, now you can be that cool old lady with the spider and death tattoos who carries this Gothic Coffin Coin Purse and takes forever to pay. I’ll be the guy further back in line making the comment about how Stevie Nicks didn’t age so well. Feel free to step back and punch me. What do you mean Stevie Nicks isn’t goth? Oh well. Goth, Gypsy… It’s all the same to me as long as you keep those caravans off my lawn and don’t steal any of the neighborhood children.

That reminds me of a good joke. What kind of computer does Stevie Nicks have? A PC? Nope. A Mac. A Fleetwood Mac. I’m a riot. That’s probably why the cops show up so often.
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Alien Couture: Cthulhu Dress

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Alien Couture Cthulhu Dress
When I talk to Cthulhu I look him in the eye. And if I ever get a chance to talk to a girl wearing this Cthulhu Dress, I’m gonna look her in Cthulhu’s eyes too and compliment them. Get it? The eyes at where the boobies are. *Giggles.* You look lovely in that dress. It has awakened an ancient evil from down below, if you know what I mean. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. What I’m saying is, you have nice tentacles. I’m saying you’re a hot mess in a Cthulhu dress.

Wear these with some Kraken heels and I’m yours honey. You drive me insane. No really. It’s a short drive, but it’s full of potholes and toll roads. Let’s take tha road trip together.

Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag

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Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag
The legend of Ghost bat lives on! Ghost bat. Other bats fear him, because deep down inside, they want to be just like him. He’s a bat. He’s a ghost. He’s the ghost bat with the most. Screw that Casper guy. The Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag is awesome. How they trapped the soul of a bat on a shoulder bag, I have no idea, but it is cool as f**k. eeekkkkkk. ekkkkkkkkkk. Wait, do they ekkk or shriek. Now I’m not sure. I know they like to poop in caves. Hey, it’s always preferable to poop indoors when given the choice. Otherwise you have to use this.

Being Stylish During Your Period: Sanitary Pad Necklace, Purse And Hair Clip

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Being Stylish During Your Period Sanitary Pad Necklace, Purse And Hair Clip
It’s not easy being stylish during your period. Am I right ladies? Well, now you can be stylish and announce to the world that your Aunt Flo is visiting at the same time. With a Sanitary Pad Necklace, Purse And Hair Clip. Sanitary pads, they aren’t just for, you know. They’re for fashion. Grouchy, touchy, bitchy fashion. Here have a Snickers bar. You’re a diva when you are having your-

SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF S**T MAN BLOGGER!

*Dodges shoe* Look, all I’m saying is it’s not an easy time for you. Can I rub your feet? Maybe just-

I WILL RUB YOUR LIFE OUT!

I knew this was a bad idea. Look, wear these period accessories or not. I don’t care. I know you want to kill all men right now, but keep one thing in mind. You can’t spell menstruation without men.

TIME TO DIE!

Laterz peeps. Gonna try to lure her away with some chocolates and a pint of ice cream.

These Junk Food Purses Are Making Me Hungry

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These Junk Food Purses Are Making Me Hungry
If I had a purse, and I don’t, I would keep all of my junk food in it. What about that bag you carry around with you? That’s not a purse. That’s a laptop bag. Don’t you keep your chapstick in there? You shut up. You shut your fat mouth. You sound pretty emotional. Do you have any menstrual pads in there? Shut up! You hear me? Here, have a Snickers bar. You are a real diva when you get hungry. Thanks. *Om nom nom* Turns back into Steve Buscemi.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Me, Steve Buscemi, really digs these purses. I think you will too. They’re junk food, but also purses. I don’t carry a purse, but if I did- You do idiot. Shut up will you? Here, have another snickers. You are a real diva when you are Steve Buscemi. *Om nom nom.* Turns into Betty White.

You know what, I’m just gonna give up Snickers bars and be myself.
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