This United States Of Horror Movies T-Shirt just goes to show you, no matter where you move, something horrible is going to attack you. Save up your money kids. This shirt shows the horror movies that take place in every state. I don’t know about you, but I’m moving out of the country. I’m sick of getting attacked by weirdos and psychos.
Speaking of weirdos and psychos, join us on Facebook. You’ll be in good company.
Molesters from other planets are kidnapping us. Sometimes putting us back into our beds at night, sometimes leaving us in a cage on the UFO so they can point and laugh at us. The first step in avoiding abduction is knowing your alien craft and that’s where this UFO Flying Saucer Types Womens T-Shirt comes in handy. If you see any of these, just run. Don’t let your bum get invaded by intergalactic whackjobs.
Losers. Yeah, I wish I had nothing better to do than fly around in a hot rod UFO sticking stuff up the cavities of various species. Some of us have to work for a living.
P.S. I just noticed how many of these UFOs are shaped like dongs. I wonder what their docking port is shaped like. Sickos! Nothing but sickos! Intergalactic trash!
If I actually went to an office everyday, I would wear this Cthulhu Polo Shirt. It proclaims your allegiance to Cthulhu while keeping things casual. But I don’t go to the office.
No office can contain me, cuz I work my ass off and rise to the top. I’m the cream baby! I’m the American dream! This wolf is on Wall Street. Werewolf that is! ARF! ARF! WHO GOT MY STOCKS? MY MONEY DOUBLES ON A FULL MOON! I’m trying to say I’m a real go-getter! Cuz I spend half my day going to get coffee, donuts, chips, pie… I don’t need no stinkin’ office to pass out in when my sugar coma hits. My couch works just fine.
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Everybody eats and everybody poops. So get over yourself. You aren’t anything special. What’s with you? Acting like your poop doesn’t stink! That can of lysol on your toilet says different. Anyway, check out this cool The Digestive System: Everybody Eats & Poops T-Shirt. Yay! At last I can put my bodily functions on display for all to see. Without having to drop anchor and open my bomb hatch. (I like to pretend I’m an old sea ship during war time. And I just encountered an enemy sub. Pew! Pew! Pew! Direct hit! That was a close one. Time to write about it in my Captain’s log!)
It’s fun and educational. Laterz! The alarm just sounded and there’s a sub approaching. Oh man- Fired to early. Now I gotta go scrub the hull! Hopefully I won’t find any barnacles.
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*Singing* Everybody’s talking about revolution, evolution… All I am sayyyying…Is give peace a chance.
Now I’m gonna go lay in bed and take questions from reporters. Now where was I? Oh yeah. Evolution. Life’s a b*tch. Then you die. Then you rise again as a zombie. Then you eat brains. Then your skin starts rotting and falling off. Then you get shot in the head by some dude who couldn’t understand your zombie talk. All you wanted was that Reese’s cup he was holding.
Anyway, this cool Zombie Evolution T Shirt puts it all in perspective. I must be the missing link cuz I don’t see tubby nerd represented on this shirt.