This Fruit Bat Skeleton in Coffin is resting in peace. Not enough fruit I guess. Maybe the fruit was poisoned. Sad story. It was someone’s son or daughter fruit bat. The fruit of their loins. Probably wore fruit of the loom underwear. I’m gonna call him Fruity. Fruity the fruit bat. RIP fruity! RIP.
Tag: taxidermy
Taxidermy Squirrel Santa Claus Christmas Ornament
Nothing says Christmas like a dead squirrel head wearing a Santa hat. This Taxidermy Squirrel Santa Claus Christmas Ornament will make sure that you have a very merry rodent filled Christmas. He doesn’t even have a neck. Dude is just all head and all hat. Like a floating ghost in search of nuts that he will never find. Well, unless you hang him on your tree at crotch level and lean in too close. Then it’s all screaming and blood dripping on the presents below.
6 Foot Tall Two-Headed Mummy
This 6 Foot Tall Two-Headed Mummy is awesome if you like to watch two mummies argue all day long. I want Starbucks! I don’t want Starbucks! Let’s go this way! No, let’s go this way! I hate you! No, I hate you. *They start scratching each other’s face with their nasty mummy fingernails and pulling each other’s hair* They remind me of my ex-wife’s two personalities.
Porcupine Lamp
The Porcupine Lamp always stays on, cuz I reached up into the shade once to turn it off and I needed like 400 stitches. My electric bill is like 2 grand a month, but it’s much safer this way. If you do cut yourself, at least that curved horn under the shade will channel your blood all in one place for easy clean up though. There’s that. That’s a selling point right there. Oh poopy. The bulb just blew. Time to get my chain mail long sleeved shirt and gloves. Screw it. I’m just gonna get the paper towels and band-aids right now.
Articulated Rattlesnake
It’s an Articulated Rattlesnake. Does that mean it’s well spoken? I kid. I kid. More like rattle bones, am I right? This guy is gonna look good on my shelf and scare everyone who visits my home. And by everyone, I mean mother. And yes, I refer to her as mother in the weird creepy Norman Bates way.It’s okay. Mother can’t hear us. She’s in the other room in her rocking car, collecting cobwebs.
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