You will find these Vintage Horror Monster Cookies either too awesome or too scary to eat. This Halloween sugar-cookies set features all the classic horror film characters you could want to take a bite out of. They are so detailed and real, some people just won’t have the stomach to eat them at night. Or maybe you have no stomach because the wolfman slashed you wide open.
You can put these out on Halloween or any other occasion and they will be gobbled up.
Brain food! Yay! These Rice Krispie Brains Treats look delicious. Snap, crackle, pop that brain in my mouth. Mmmmmm tasty neurons. If I crave these brains does that make me a zombie. I don’t even care. I just need more. Etsy seller CrazyBrainChocolate sells all kinds of different versions of edible brains. Some have PB and J inside, some rice krispies, chocolate, three musketeers. These people fill brains with everything. I guess that makes them like teachers and this is why I salute teachers. They always provide the best snacks. Over 5 thousand brains sold and counting!
These Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies look delicious. I would buy ’em if I had the dough. Also would bake ’em if I had the dough. Which I dough not.
*Hack* *Hack* *Wretch* *Coughs all over a sheet of freshly baked cookies.*
You okay man? You sound like you’re hacking up a lung.
I’m fine. Just making some coughin’ cookies. Can’t make ’em without coughin’. *Looks at the recipe.* Ohhhhhhh. I see what I did wrong. Coffin, not coughin’! Oh well, everybody eat up. You might as well call in sick for work tomorrow right now. Patient zero is in the kitchen!
Update: These are cookie toppers. Not cookies. Cuz I’m a hungry idiot.
These Planetary Lollipops mix hard candy with hard science. Mostly not. Mostly it’s your mouth acting like a black hole as you lick and devour every planet into nothingness. Imagine what a gooey delight the Earth is going to be with all of the chewy nougat that is the sea life and people and animals. Yummy. And Uranus? I can only imagine how good that will taste. I- Haha. Walked right into that one.
Hey, you’re not allowed to laugh at me. Only I’m allowed to laugh at me. At least I didn’t say the molten core of Uranus tasted good running over my tongue. I was saving that for Saturn.
Anyway this is probably the only time it will ever be safe to eat Mercury and if you want to see Jupiter Ascending, watch it ascend into your mouth.
Go play with your ball. Stop smiling at me! Stop grinning at me, I said. Where’d you get such pearly whites? I better not get a bill from some doggy dentist. What’s so funny? Are you laughing at me?
Oh, it’s just a ball that makes you look like a grinning idiot. And they hold dog treats inside too? I’ll have to get grandpa one. Instant teeth, plus he will look happy for once, like he’s enjoying my company, when I visit him in that rest home I dumped him in a decade ago. He’s so ungrateful. I basically gave him a house full of maids, to serve him dinner and wipe his saggy old butt.
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