Tag: undead

The Walking Dead Night Light

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walking dead night light
It’s not just kids who are scared of the dark. Adults don’t like it either. Sure, we act all brave, but when you get up in the middle of the night for a pee, we all run as fast as we can back into bed, careful not to let the wife see you, because if she does you know she’s gonna call you a pansy again. So what? You screamed when you saw a spider. Okay, so you also fainted that one time when the mouse came out of the wall, but only because it was a smart mouse and brought it’s own chlorophyll to knock you out. Then when you explain she calls you stupid and asks if you meant chloroform? *Deep breath*

The point is, darkness is scary. So use this The Walking Dead Nightlight. Sure Zombies are scary too but darkness? Screw darkness.
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Zombie Gun Holsters For Conceal And Carry Carnage

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zombie gun holster
Zombies. You gotta shoot the head. Anything else is just a waste of time. If you plan on living in the Zombie apocalypse, you have to have a gun. That means you have to have a cool holster too, so you can twirl your gun around and make pew pew pew noises, then re-holster it and look cool. *BANG* Hops around on one foot checking out the smoking hole in my other foot. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! zombies are in the trees! Run!

I may be on crutches for the next week or 3, but at least I have some wild Zombie holsters from Etsy seller RinehartLeather. They have all kinds of cool hand tooled leather holsters and stuff.
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Zombie Survival Guide Books And Knives Bookends

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

Zombie Survival Guide Books And Knives BookendsThese Zombie Survival Guide Books And Knives Bookends are a perfect way for you to take a stab at your own book collection. It’s a pair of zombie survival books that have been knifed by zombies who don’t want you to know how to survive.

The knives are pre-bloodied too. Don’t let your books get all disorganized. These bookends are a good reminder that the zombie apocalypse is coming. Be ready, don’t be dead-y.

Zombie Side Table

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zombie slave tableThis $300 Zombie Slave Side Table will teach those Zombies what happens when they mess with you. Try to eat my brain and you’ll be on your knees serving me my dinner, with a chain around your neck. I have another brain-eater in the bathroom, holding my toilet paper roll on his index fingers.

Now I’m gonna put my food down on the glass surface. DO NOT eat it. No! No! Bad Zombie! Get your tongue out of my pudding. Do you not know what getting smacked in the nose by a rolled up newspaper means?

Just In Time For Halloween: Zombie Chia Pets

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chia pet zombiesThese Zombie Chia pets are like regular Chia Pets, just more undead. You can choose from an arm reaching up out of the grave, Lifeless Lisa, or Creepy Holden. All will be green and undead. They are going to look great as a Halloween display. Lifeless Lisa looks just like my Grandma, who definitely needs some conditioner.

I swear, I could give her that one, put it in front of a framed piece of aluminum foil and she would think she was looking in the mirror. Silly oldsters! No, I don’t know why your hair is still green despite your shampooing it a hundred times. Just get in the car. Do you want your prescription or not? And remember, the mirrors in the outside world lie. Trust no one. Except for me. You’re still leaving me some property right?
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