The Plague Doctor will see you now. And so will a smaller one and a smaller one and a smaller one… It’s a plague of them I tells ya! Anyway, these Russian Matryoshka Plague Doctor Nesting Dolls are awesome. I can’t vouch for their Russian-ness, but I’ll keep an eye out and see if they drink a lot of Wodka and make jokes about the cold. Wait, it turns out that the seller is Russian. Russian to give you a great deal on some cool-ass nesting dolls! Hahahahaha. I am so inappropriate.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Intergalactic Cosmic Skeleton Hoodie
This Cosmic Skeleton Hoodie is out of this world. It’s groovy, it’s cosmic, it’s like a skeleton traveled the universe and collected starlight and nebulas and returned to Earth a God! …Of course that could just be my meds kicking in. Yeah, that’s more likely. It has a zip front, front pockets and a ribbed fit around the hips and wrist for your pleasure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a journey to the center of my mind to complete and I require a dash of Nyquil to fuel my ship. OHHHHHHH. There we go. We have lift-off!
Octopus Tentacle Handle Mug
Put your tentacles on this Octopus Tentacle Handle Mug and enjoy a good cup of joe.I don’t know who squeezed out Joe’s liquids and put them in this cup, but that’s a mystery for another day. These are perfect for the octopus lover, not that I condone that sort of thing. Not for me tough. I have an irrational fear of the octopus. I see one and I run away.Yet I’m obsessed with them at the same time. My therapist calls it obsessive com-puss-ive disorder. I’m afraid of the octopus and I’m also a puss. Anyway, enjoy your tentacled mug. Don’t you just want to touch that handle? I do and yet I HATE them. See? I got problems.
Sexy Bat Wing Shirt
Look at my Sexy Bat Wing Shirt. I can fly! I can fly! *Splash* Well we know you can jump in that lake. Seriously though, look at those bat wings. Perfect for prancing around next to driftwood. I really wish I could watch this photo shoot. So magical. I especially like the second image where she’s flapping her wings and fanning a fart toward the water. Either that, or she’s getting held up at gunpoint with her arms in the air while twerking and she can’t stop. Won’t stop. God, those wings are sexy. I hope she never stops being her. Ya know?
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Nice Chompers – Coin Cavity Purse
This Coin Cavity Purse will try to bite you every time you put change in or take change out. Plus obsessive compulsives will have to brush and floss these pearly whites every time they open it. That’s a nice set of chompers. You know how you hate that old lady who is always holding up the checkout line cuz she’s paying in change? Now you can be that person, except others won’t be pissed off at you, they’ll be scared. Of you and for you. And I don’t blame them.