Check out this Skeleton Necktie. You are a skeleton so you should wear a skeleton. This skeleton is just hanging out by a mantle all bored thinking about who he’s gonna bone next. Ha. That was a good one. I would wear this and call him Cal. Then I’d talk to him. I’d be like,”You see those guys Cal?” and he’d be all like, “Cal see ’em! Cal see ’em boss!” Ha ha ha ha ha. Calcium.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Pillow Set
This Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Pillow Set is perfect for you and your monster bride. I like how they have the heads on them so you know which side of the bed is yours. Monsters! Talk about bumping uglies! Am I right? Frankenstein sex is known as the monster mash. And despite what you’ve heard it is not a graveyard smash. And it did not catch on in a flash. Cuz it’s nasty. Worse than old people doing it.
Friday The 13th Beer Glass Chug Chug Chug Ah Ah Ah
Chug chug chug, Ah ah ah. This Friday The 13th Beer Glass has everyone’s favorite serial killer along with what he says when he’s chugging beer. The party doesn’t get started until Jason arrives. Dude is a party animal. The downside is that the party ends when he has killed everyone. So yeah, there’s that. Enjoy it while you can I guess.
Kill Time Coloring Books
These Kill Time Coloring Books are designed to give you peace of mind. Did someone piss you off? Well, don’t yell and curse at them. Color your anger away and release the tension in your life by coloring some of the greatest horror kills of all time. That’s how you relieve stress like an adult. Don’t grab your machete, grab your crayons. Then go in for the kill.
Gothic Horror Tarot Card Deck
Want a tarot reading? *Looks at the Gothic Horror Tarot Card Deck* Hells no! But thanks anyway. That’s some terrifying tarot right there. It even has Cthulhu. I think I’ll just stick to playing hearts with the seniors on Sundays. Not that I do that. And they don’t know that I don’t do that cuz alzheimer’s. It’s a win/win really. Anyway, this should be called a scare-o deck cuz I’m scared.