No, these Poseable Life Size Skeleton Lamps aren’t creepy at all. Look at them looking at ya, throwing some shade. You can pose them any way you want, which means you need two of them so you can make it all dirty and stuff. It doesn’t matter how you display them, that’s some scary shizz right there. They come in different colors. I feel like it would grab me as soon as I turned the light out.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Custom Twin Peaks Laura Palmer Corpse Doll
It is happening again. This Custom Twin Peaks Laura Palmer Corpse Doll doesn’t really help me solve the mystery of who killed Laura Palmer. I think it was a midget who talks backwards, dances and loves donuts as well as a damn good cup of coffee. Anyway, this seller has several version of Laura Palmer wrapped up and dead. I emailed them to ask some questions and all they told me was that the gum I liked was going to come back in style. I’m psyched.
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Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace
This Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace looks just like Freddy Krueger’s sweater and even has a little gravestone underneath. I don’t see what the big deal is. I had a nightmare on elm street once and yeah it was terrifying, but guess what? I moved. I didn’t make like 10 sequels about it. You make your own destiny. Like me. For a while I was starring in “Drunk on Church Street”. Then I moved on to “Recovering on Maple.” I move around a lot. Now I’m all about, “F*ck it. Face down on Main”. We are all our own master. Reach for the stars. And when ya can’t, reach for the bottle.
The Phantom of the Opera Playing Cards
Make your next card game a scary one with The Phantom of the Opera Playing Cards. You don’t have to host your card game backstage at an opera, but it helps. These are a limited edition so get them while you can. Only 666 decks were produced. Somehow I don’t think they arrived at that number randomly. Each deck has a unique serial number and certificate. The edges of cards are gold foiled. Nice. They are all classy and stuff.
The fearsome phantom drinks fanta from a fountain and it fizzles. Just wanted to say that. No reason. I’m such a card. Problem is the rest of the deck is missing.
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Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit
Make some zombie poetry with the Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit. Put your creations on the fridge or other metal surface. I don’t know about you, but I find zombie poetry to be beautiful and romantic. If I create zombie poetry and display it on my fridge, does that count as being published? I’m gonna say yeah. But I get too distracted by the fridge and leave my poetry half finished, but never my burrito. That always gets finished. I’m just no good under pressure and by that I mean I get all gassy and crampy and doubled over, until the pressure is relieved. Then it’s back to snacking while I stare at the words in a kitchen that smells like a trash heap.
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