I don’t know about you, but massacres make me hungry. Especially the Texas Chainsaw variety. This Texas Chainsaw Massacre Lunch Box is a great way to carry your lunch. I would suggest cutting your sandwich in half with a chainsaw, just to keep things authentic and all. Or you could use it to store your other stuff in. Either way it an awesome lunch box honoring a classic horror movie.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Morphine Mug
At last I have a mug for my morphine! A Morphine Mug! *Takes a sip* Oh ho, that’s good stuff… *Hears a distant birdsong. Sees pretty colors as my eyes slowly close.* IIIIIIIIIIII have become… Comfortably numb… *wakes up with a jolt* Where was I? Oh yeah, I was in a hollowed out tree in 18th century france, playing strange games with the fuzzy electric bunnies, but that’s not important right now. My point is, this is a pretty cool mug. *Drifts off again.*
Godzilla Wallet
Hey, it’s the monster that wrecked Tokyo. And I ain’t talking Fukushima! What? Too soon? My bad. This cool Godzilla Wallet belongs in your pocket. It shows Godzilla on the rampage, breathing fire. It also shows Godzilla’s anatomy as if he got hit with a laser. I can see he had chicken for dinner, along with a butt-load of Japanese locals and tourists.
I say butt-load cuz it looks like they are gonna hurt coming out. Depending on his digestion anyway. I’d be backed up for a week. That meal is too rich. Get it? Too rich? Cuz ya have to be rich to travel and be a tourist these days.
Skull and Bones Door Knocker
Knock knock knock. I want to use this Skull and Bones Door Knocker so bad. I can almost feel it in my hand. Where’s my shopping VR program already? I just want to move his jaw and hear the sound. Pretend that he’s talking as I do. Then when the person answers the door, I’ll be all like, “Just go back inside. I’m playing here.” See I know how to pony like bony-maronie. I also know to leave when the police are called cuz some dude won’t stop f**king with your door knocker. But I’m taking it with me and putting it on my door.
Long story short: Not a good idea. Blogging from jail now. The pokey. The Hoosegow. Ye old ship of butt pirates tryin’ to shiv and shiver me timbers. Anyone have bail money? Cuz I really wanna bail now.
Burial Bath – Death and Decay Soap – Why Not?
Burial Bath – Death and Decay Soap. For when you really want to get clean, but you want to feel… Unclean? Dead? Decayed? I have no idea, but zombies would love it. If they took baths, Which they don’t. They should though. Cuz they are rant. Like walking city dumpsters in the summer. Take this zombie. Have yourself a bath. Burn those clothes too. That cheap Made In China shizz is decomposing faster than you are. Didn’t any of you die in quality threads? Oh yeah, Walmart.