Whoa. I think I found the perfect girl. Nice bones. This Trick or Treat Hot Chicks Squad Skelly Statue is gonna look great on my shelf as a constant reminder that I could never get a babe this hot. She’s like Harley Quinn’s weirder Halloween obsessed sister and I like that, who is about to swing that bat at your head. I guess I have a thing for bad girls. Man, I hope I run into the Hot Chicks Squad. They’re like the A-Team only hotter. Obviously.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Alien Xenomorph Custom Plush
I always wanted to snuggle up with a Xenomorph on a cold winter night. Then I got married and I have all the horror I could ever want from a cuddle partner. I kid. I kid. She reads this blog. This Alien Xenomorph Custom Plush will either kill you or cuddle you. Your chances are 50/50. Don’t be fooled by his cuteness. It takes 3-4 weeks for delivery, because they have to hatch this guy, incubate him, give him a lust for blood etc.
Horror Movie Necklaces
Do you even horror bro? Well, if ya do, check out these Horror Movie Necklaces. They’re not just for bros, but for bras too. No, I mean- Not for your bra. These necklaces are for everyone. All inclusive. Like a cruise you just won and get to hang on your neck. But much, much lighter. All of your favorite horror shows and movies are represented. They look pretty classy. Perfect for Halloween or any other time you want to up your creep-cred! Nobody steal that, that’s mine. I just said that and I’m pretty impressed.
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Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat
I think I found my Halloween hat. This Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat is gonna look awesome on my noggin. I’d tip my hat to you, but my brains would leak all over the place. On your suit, in your eye. HE BLINDED ME, WITH SCIENCE. Actually brain juice. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably cuz they don’t get enough sleep. Science is tiring. It should be called shy-ence cuz these dorks are all working alone in rooms underground and stuff.
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Beeswax Coffin Candle Set
Mind your own beeswax by displaying this macabre Beeswax Coffin Candle Set in your home or funeral parlor. Macabre. That’s a weird word. Should be said like mac-ab-bree, but people say mac-cobb. Words are weird. That’s okay, we like weird. Imma put a bunch of these on a birthday cake for a really old person and see if I get punched.