Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror

Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror
What the deuce?! This Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror is horrified by what he is seeing. I don’t blame him. I am too. He’s all flapping his imp wings and scratching the frame with his nails. He always thought he was more handsome than that. Nope. That’s why ya never show an imp a mirror. Actually you know what? I don’t think he’s scared. Check out that impish grin. I think he is trying to have sex with that handsome imp in the mirror. That explains all of the scratching and excitement. I hope he doesn’t break the mirror with his erection. That’s seven years bad luck cuz your pee pee is sore for that long. Unless he’s l-imp? Ha ha ha ha ha. And his name is Dick. Ha ha ha ha.

I should get out more.

Arsenic and Cyanide Salt and Pepper Shakers

Arsenic and Cyanide Salt and Pepper ShakersArsenic and Cyanide. Sounds like a fun cop buddy flick to me. And the bad guys are about to get a lethal dose of justice! One is a seasoned veteran two weeks from retirement, the other a salty rookie! These Arsenic and Cyanide Salt and Pepper Shakers will give your dinner guests a scare when they go to season their food and pick their poison. Don’t tell my wife. She has been threatening to poison my food forever and this just might remind her. Yeah, I think I’m done with salt and pepper for awhile. Just to be safe. What? Not done with THAT Salt and Pepper.

Oooh, baby, baby. Baby, baby. Get up on this!

Horror B Movie Wine Charms

Horror B Movie Wine Charms
These Horror B Movie Wine Charms will let you know whose drink is whose. Or is it who’s drink is who’s? Stupid english language. Hey, you’re drinking my drink. Mine was The Blob! Oh, sorry. That explains why it’s filled with Jello. Yeah. Don’t even go near The Attack Of The Giant Leeches drink. That’s just nasty.

Never let them put their lips on your drink again. Germs are the true horror movie. Min your drink, otherwise you will be starring in Attack of the Burning Herpes.

Alien Fused Glass Night Light

Alien Fused Glass Night Light
Cool. An Alien Fused Glass Night Light. Is it just me or does that mustache make him look like the other kind of alien? The illegal kind? What? Just asking. My plan is to use this in my bedroom, so that when the real aliens come, they’ll see this and think they are the ones getting abducted. Or maybe they’ll just think that one of them is here already and move on. If I see this go down, I’ll throw my voice from the bed and say, “You essay. I got dis. Step off!”

Oh Hell No: Body Parts Sewn Together Clothing Line

Body Parts Sewn Together Clothing Line
Ed Gein. Remember that name. He is going to be big in the serial killer inspired fashion world. This Body Parts clothing line from Etsy shop KaylaArenafx was inspired by the dude. I ain’t looking him up though. Too scared. Apparently the guy made stuff for reals. Freaky. I prefer it when my clothing doesn’t look back at me. Or have ears.

via Geekologie