Category: Just Plain Weird

Life Size Articulated FaceHugger

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Life Size Articulated FaceHugger
Holy crap guys! This Life Size Articulated FaceHugger could be in my yard. No, I mean it might be in my yard right now cuz something has been digging those giant holes. It’s too big to be a gopher. Man, something just scurried by the window and ran up the side of the house. BRB.

*Runs around the backyard hammering pictures of my face attached to wooden stakes in the ground. Watches as the Facehugger takes the bait and tries to hug all of those faces. Cocks my shotgun one-handed like and blows him to hell.*

I got too much face for your race sucker!

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box

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Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box
I need another skull decoration around here like I need a sword in the head. But I do need a Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box with a sword in the head. Everyone come to my house. The first person to pull the sword from the skull shall be king. Oh hell, that came away really easy. Oh well. Feel free to rule over my entire kingdom. *Looks around at my filthy hovel.* Hey, where’d ya go? Fine, I’ll continue being king, but I’m going to war with all of you.

The Martians Are Coming!

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The Martians Are Coming!
This martian is going to look awesome in your yard. And I can tell ya from experience that they really look like this. It was a hot August night and I was drunk-riding home on my bicycle, cuz that isn’t illegal as far as I know. That’s when I saw this thing scurrying around the neighbor’s yard, looking grumpy as hell. When I spotted him, he jammed those tentacle legs into the ground and made like a tree. I just figured I was drunk and since I had to pee anyway… And now you know why he’s got such a grumpy look on his face. Hey, you disguise yourself as a tree on a backward planet, you’re gonna get the golden shower. I don’t remember anything after that, cuz I think he went all electric and shocked my weiner.
Read more “The Martians Are Coming!”

The Bizarre Coloring Book For Adults

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The Bizarre Coloring Book For Adults
You ready to color in some bizarre images? The Bizarre Coloring Book For Adults is full of bizarre and weird images to color. They are so freaky, you’ll be trippin’ as you color. There’s monsters, chicks with tentacles in their hair, freaky animals. I just started coloring this book and I’m all hyped up and paranoid. Someone talk me down. I’m peaking man. I’m peaking! Peeking over at your work. You did a really nice job on your page. So pretty!

Get Vol. 2 here.

Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters

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Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters
Put some whiskey on the wolfman. These Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters will protect your furniture from your drinks. Cuz your drinks are monsters to your furniture. These coasters feature wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Put your drink on the coffin, then take off your hat and say a little prayer. May it rest in peace. Amen. Now may it rest in my belly.