Category: Just Plain Weird

White Walker Jesus – Game Of Thorns?

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White Walker Jesus - Game Of Thorns
Sing it with me Billy Idol. “It’s a… nice day for a… White Walker.” Remember that time in Game of Thorns(Get it?) when that dude killed that white walker and three days later it resurrected. That’s how you get Easter in Westeros people. This White Walker Jesus will let you relive all of the excitement. Choose your house: Stark, Baratheon, Lannister or Christ!

House Christ rules! I hope I’m scoring some good points to get into heaven here. You da man Jesus! Sorry about all that stuff I did and continue to do, but it’s cool cuz you forgive everything, so I just keep doing that stuff and that’s why we’re tight! Can I get a high five and an amen? Still ignoring me huh? That’s cool. We tight. We tight.

Cthulhu Bottle Opener

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Cthulhu Bottle Opener
Yo Cthulhu, lend me a tentacle with my beer. Cuz the only thing worse than an elder horror is the horror of being without a cold beer. This Cthulhu Bottle Opener will let you pop those bottle caps with the power of the tentacled one himself. Bring me the head of Cthulhu! For I must drink! Cuz H.P. Lovecraft stands for Heineken Pabst Lovecraft. True story. I think. I may have just made that up in a drunken stupor.

Hey, that reminds me of a joke. What do you call an alcoholic apartment manager? The Stupor-intendent. Ha ha ha. Drunk humor is the best. Thanks for all the Cthulhu Mr. Hangover Prone Lovecraft. Laterz.

Retro Nightmare On Elm Street Lunch Box

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Nightmare On Elm Street Lunch Box
Pack a lunch cuz you are hanging out with Freddy Krueger today. This Nightmare On Elm Street Lunch Box will not only hold your lunch, but it will make ya lose your lunch too when Freddy comes to life and crawls outta this thing, cuz you are dreaming and probably very dead soon.

All I know is Freddy best not take my ham sammich! Damnit! He did! He took my ham sammich! It’s on now Freddy! It’s onnnnn like Donkey Kong! You shoulda traded me for it Freddy! Now you die!

Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters

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Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters
Dude, I love Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters. The way you go up, up, up and get super high, then you fall so fast and the coaster goes all loop-the-loop and turns you upside down, so you puke in the face of the guy behind you and feel like you would rather be dead. Good times. Wait. Nevermind. Not those kinds of coasters. These are the kind that you set your drinks on. Much safer. I’m a daredevil when it comes to placing drinks on things. If I had these coasters, I would drink two drinks at once, so I could have a Creature double feature.

Grim Reapers and Roses Framed Mirror

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Grim Reapers and Roses Framed Mirror
I always look grim in this mirror. Don’t know why. Must be the lighting. More likely, it’s the two Grim Reapers on this Grim Reapers and Roses Framed Mirror. Damn, I thought Guns N Roses knew how to rock, but they are nothing compared to Grim Reapers and Roses. Their concerts are to die for, cuz people are dying to get in. Anywho, enjoy admiring yourself in this Gothic archway of death.

Don’t be scared though. The seasons don’t fear the Reaper. Nor do the wind, sun and the rain. So you shouldn’t either. Go ahead and knock on that mirror. Ya know why?

Cuz you’ll be knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door! Or hell maybe. Death’s door.