I know that all of that wine is gonna kill my liver, so my bottle might as well have a coffin top. This Coffin Wine Stopper will help your liver and your wine RIP. That’s rest in peace. Just in case anyone thought I was typing a fart sound my butt just made. That would be more like riiippppp with a tight squeak. And it just happened for reals. Man, I need some coffin underwear now, cuz that one killed my colon. Scratch that. I just need new underwear.
Category: Just Plain Weird
Alien Xenomorph Facehugger Bunny Sculpture
Sure, humans have to watch out for facehuggers, but bunnies have to be extra careful. Aliens just love hugging a bunny face. It was recently reported that we lose 4 out of 10 bunnies to face hugging. It’s a real problem as shown in this Alien Xenomorph Facehugger Bunny Sculpture.
Peter Cottontail can become Peter no-face in just an instant, so it’s important that we get the word out about this alien on bunny violence through figurines like this. We may even save some bunny faces. If I can save just one bunny face by sharing this, it will have all been worth it. Cuz bunnies rule! Aliens drool!
We have to protect their little whiskers people!
Day Of The Dead Skull Nightlight is Luminous Death
This Day Of The Dead Skull Nightlight will make sure that your night of the dead is lit up nicely and glows with luminous death. You probably should not put it in a kid’s room.
Mommy, mommy! Death came to me again in my room last night. That’s nice dear. But that wasn’t death. It was the angel of death. Did you see his angel glow? Just be thankful he didn’t ask you to come with him. Remember, keep your grades up and he will never come through your wall. Get straight A’s or else!
Stained Glass Mosaic Skull
This is “Lenny”, a Stained Glass Mosaic Skull. He’s a colorful dude. Make sure you put him in the sun so he can really shine and maybe use the suns rays to grow a body. Is that how that works? I have no idea. Wait! Is he wearing lipstick? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just not sure that color is him. Whatevs. I don’t judge. You go ghoul.
6 Foot Tall Two-Headed Mummy
This 6 Foot Tall Two-Headed Mummy is awesome if you like to watch two mummies argue all day long. I want Starbucks! I don’t want Starbucks! Let’s go this way! No, let’s go this way! I hate you! No, I hate you. *They start scratching each other’s face with their nasty mummy fingernails and pulling each other’s hair* They remind me of my ex-wife’s two personalities.