Check out this Ugly Face Toilet Plunger Cover. Dude, your face is so ugly I want to stick a toilet plunger in it. I bet this guy has heard that a million times. He’s got a face so ugly only a toilet plunger could love it. I guess that means he has a potty mouth. Honestly, this guy doesn’t look too bright, so he probably doesn’t mind getting rammed by a toilet plunger. I don’t even know the guy and I want to shove one in his head.
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Category: Just Plain Weird
Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Windchimes
This set of Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Windchimes makes me suspect I’m actually in a dream. If I get too close and try to shut them up, it’s gonna go crazy and slash at me. That’s why I’m trying to wake myself by repeatedly pinching myself and throwing drinks in my own face. So far all it’s gotten me is a rash and a giant puddle on the carpet. Whatevs. Let it make all of the noise it wants. If I go to sleep while already sleeping he can’t get me. And if he can, I’m gonna keep sleeping in each dream and he will have to catch me. Eventually I’ll wake up….
Unless I have to wake up again and again until I find my way back to the first dream. This shizz is confusing. God dammit Freddy! Can’t I get one night’s sleep?
Embalming Fluid Coffee Mug
The best part of waking up…is embalming fluid in your cup… I wouldn’t try that actually, but this Embalming Fluid Coffee Mug is pretty awesome. When you’re feeling post mortem, grab a cup of coffee and resurrect yourself. Be pre mortem. Sweet!
Zombie iPhone 7 Case – The Texting Dead
This Zombie iPhone 7 Case is compatible with iPhone 5/5s, 6/6s, 7/7s. Looks like it could use some toothpaste. A little flossing wouldn’t hurt either. Damn son, you got some nasty choppers. I hope it doesn’t bite my finger when I answer my phone. I just feel like I want to do some reconstructive surgery on him, like one of those forensic guys. See what he looked like before he was turned into a rotting walking corpse.
Oh nevermind. I should have recognized Joan Rivers right away. Hey Joan. What up? Thanks for protecting my iPhone with your head.
Cereal Killer Cereal Bowl
You know how you eat cereal out of a Cereal Killer Cereal Bowl? Well,first you lure your cereal to a nice secluded spot. Maybe the kitchen. Then you strike hard with a spoon, hoping that no one is nearby to hear any loud snap, crackles or pops as it fights you. Then you hide the cereal so there is no evidence left behind. In your mouth. Hide it in your mouth.
That is one creepy way to eat cereal. Oh and call yourself a cereal killer name. Like Son of (Toucan)Sam. Or the Cheerios Killer. Trix the Ripper….