I like to close the garage up real tight, get the car running and set this baby on the passenger seat. Then I rev this gas powered blender up and make a smoothie to die for. Or so you would think. But I usually just wake up to my wife shaking me and slapping the carrot juice mustache right off my face. Marriage. Can’t get out of it that easy.
Category: Just Plain Weird
Jesus With Wings Night Light
Holy Lord and creepy savior! Let this Jesus night light protect you from all manner of boogeymen, ghosts and demons, who prowl the night. He will scare the hell out of them literally. Look at him all lit up, flapping his dragon wings while he rips his shirt off Superman style.
Who ya gonna call? Jesus. He is the original Ghostbuster!
More shots below.
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Realistic Hand Lamp Rockin’ A Kung-Fu Grip
Look at all of the detail on this very literal “hand lamp”. It has pores and even little hairs. I’m pretty sure there are hairs on the palm too, since it is rocking that manly grip so tight. The seller should have called it “The Handy.”
It will take a real handy dude to install this light fixture. I’m just not sure if they take on hand jobs like that. Thank you. I’ll be here all week, wondering why I’m still single. It may be my choice of interior lighting.
Click through for more images.
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Ultimate Golfer Side Table With Lamp
Oh Ebay. Does your craziness know no bounds? No. It obviously does not. This bit of geriatric-inspired furniture is a $75 Golfer table lamp. The bottom part looks just like any old timer wiling away his retirement, while the top gives you a view of the green.
If it starts walking toward me, I’m clubbing it with it’s own golf club. Just saying. Where I come from, if you see pants like those approaching you, you yell stranger danger real effin’ loud, otherwise you end up in the back of a van sucking on a lolipop, singing row-row-row-your-boat with funny pants man at the wheel, as tears stream down your face.
Happened to me just last week, but never again! I buy my candy like everyone else now.
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Not Sure Who To Cheer For: Jason Vorhees VS Jaws Diorama Statue
This custom diorama depicts the epic struggle that is Jason VS. Jaws. Jason is firmly in the Jaws…of Jaws. He is also busy carving out an eye and somehow still has his mask on. The shark is all like, just give me some of the sweet serial killer om nom nom.
This lovely piece is just $250. from Ebay. Phaw! I could take that shark. I mean, if I had the money, I would take it. What are you crazy? I’m not going up against some shark in a fist fight. I have to run away each time I sprinkle fish food in my aquarium, which explains that mound of fish flakes on the floor. Say, do you think there’s a connection between that and the tendency of my fish to just give up and do a death-float the surface?
Nah. Probably just sick when I bought ’em.
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