Hey Larpers and nerds of other stripes. Are you a Wizard in need of a staff? You could do far worse than to buy this Odd Fellows ritual turkey head staff. Now every spell you cast will be enchanted with the words “gobble gobble” and you will look like a pimp every Thanksgiving.
Also, at the end of the day, your hand might smell like a butterball. This is $740 of strange spell casting awesomeness.
Read more “Ritual Turkey Head Staff from 1916”
Try explaining this suitcase to the TSA. “What ya got in there?” Oh crap. “Nothin’ sir. Please don’t grope my balls.” The Orwellian mongoloid snaps his glove on his wrist and winks at the Obama poster on the wall, also blowing a kiss. Then he turns back to you. “Looks like your smuggling some heads in their sir. You wanna step aside so I can give you a cavity search?” You scratch your head. “Oh, well that’s not so bad. I go to the dentist regularly. Hey wait just a-”
It all ends with the pair of you smoking a cigarette in an empty room. You, bent over a table, with your pants at your ankles and the TSA goon removing his soiled glove. You start to speak, but he gently puts a finger to your lips as your eyes meet. “Shhhhhhhhh.”, he whispers. “No words.”
Don’t let this thing wiggle it’s way into one of your egg shaped ornaments or you’re going to have a new life form in the new year. Great. Another mouth to feed.
Look at how bare that tree is. Three branches and some sperm. That’s Christmas folks. It’s been fun.
It’s like Goldmember hired Boba Fett and put a bounty on someone’s bald grandmother. Looks like Fett only got half the body though, so he’s only getting half the payment! At least Goldmember will have some new decor in his palace.
Only $100 on Etsy. That’s a steal for an old woman encased in gold. Unless you buy a can of gold spray paint for a few bucks and hold your granny down. Don’t recommend. Mine kicks like a mule and spits like a lama. Plus, their teeth tend to stay in you after they pull away.
One more image below.
Read more “Gold Relief Sculpture: Carbonite Freezing Gone Wrong”
If you own property in the Valley of The Dolls or on the Island of Dolls, decorate your place with some appropriate lighting. Lighting that makes it look like one of your dolls has been possessed and is burning hell’s fiery furnace behind it’s eyes. It is only 99 cents with 3 days to go on Ebay.
Have fun with that. Don’t blame me when that head spins 360 degrees and starts spitting vomit everywhere. Check it out all lit up and evil below.
Read more “Interior Frighting: Creepy Doll Head Lamp”