Bad parents unintentionally grow hookers, pimps, pole dancers or naughty school girls. And now you can too. Without all of the diaper changing, parent/teacher conferences and eventual calls from jail. Just add water. Choose wisely. They are $3.45 each plus shipping.
Category: Just Plain Weird
The Truth Is Out There: Life-Sized 4 1/2 Foot Tall Alien Prop
For $269.99 you can have your own Life-Sized alien. Don’t blame me when he starts probing your backside and walking through your walls, and inviting his alien buddies over to watch Star Trek and laugh at humans.
Look how much fun that kid is having with his alien. Just holding hands and having a good old time. Best buds. It warms my heart. Maybe they’re communicating. Check out some close ups below.
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Set The Mood With Poop Candles
These poop candles look like stinky sticks of dynamite. Good thing they aren’t, because I would want a longer fuse. You don’t want to be anywhere near these when they go off. Luckily they are just candles. Lumpy(and probably nutty and corn-filled) candles.
Check out the lumpiness and girth on these bad boys. You would really have to strain and practice some deep breathing to get these things out of your bowels. Then, once you did, you would need a good long break to sit there and pant, regain your breath. These are some seriously unhealthy Cleveland Steamers. If your biz looks like this, go coffin shopping right now.
They smell like roses and are bound to keep things classy in your home. More shots below.
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Devil Phone Gives You a Direct Line To Hell
This art piece is appropriately called “He Only Calls Me When He’s Horny“. For the record, I just get busy. I mean to call, but then I get distracted by work, video games, action figures, and writing Star Wars fan-fiction, in that order. By then my schedule is clear enough to fit some other things in. It’s just a coincidence that I’m horny at that time. It has nothing to do with Jar-Jar fisting an Ewok.
Now that that is clear, this phone looks like the devil. And it is totally horny. For some extra creepy reason, it has a soundboard inside that makes it cry like a baby. Only $250.
Life-Sized Peeping Tom Prop For Creepy Pranks
What have we here? A creepy compliment to that Peeping Clown we showed you awhile back. This one is a scary Peeping Tom found from the same seller on Ebay. It’s perfect for scaring the bejesus out of your friends. Hopefully they don’t own guns.
Damn, this guy looks super creepy, cupping his hands to look in your window. You can practically hear him panting and mumbling psycho sweet nothings.
You can also find it on Amazon.