Category: Weird Art

Weird Al-O-Saurus Framed Original Drawing

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weird alCheck out this Weird Al drawing. He’s half man, half dinosaur, but all white and nerdy. $225 on Etsy? Damn son. I can get all up in paint shop and crack one of these bad boys out in like 5 minutes. Okay, if I did it, it would be in crayon, but I know people who can use paint shop.

My mom goes to the paint shop all the time to match the colors on the walls. Cause I’m always swinging lightsabers and knocking off paint chips like they were Sith Lords. Mom calls me Obi-Wan-You-Owe-Me. Cause I owe her for the walls. Whatevs. Bill me sucka. And by bill me, I mean Bill Cosby. As in, “Mom, get me a pudding pop!”

One Of A Kind Black Bear Bench: Does A Bear Sit In The Woods?

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bear benchWhat’s this grizzly sight? Now you can sit on a bench with a bear to the left of you and a bear to the right. That’s some high octane bear power right there. Do I want this bench? Does a bear sit in the woods? Yes. Yes he does. And he sits with me because we are best buds. We’ll be sharing honey pots and passing around the tasty tree grubs. Catching fish with our bear hands. Good times.

That’s how I picture my bear adventure, but you and I both know that in reality this is just a bear butt-urinal, with you in the middle. Why else would bears park themselves on each side. These guys are each taking a massive and when they are done, they will climb out, leaving you in a toxic fog.

No friggin’ way I’m buying this bench.
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Metal Dog Sculpture With Hanging Metal Nads

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metal dogWhat is it with Ebay sellers taking horrible pictures of their items? Everybody is using the glaucoma filter. I had to smoke up for medicinal purposes while looking at this listing. Didn’t help. But my eyesight drastically improved when I left the page.

Anyway, this is a metal dog some dude got for his 50th birthday. It has metal nads. Now he is selling it. Probably because there’s only so many times you can walk by and grab ’em for luck. He feels weird now. And rightly so. Now you can be that guy for just $280.
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Framed Man-Beast Wearing Underwear

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man-beast in underwearCheck out this framed man-beast crotch, packing more hair than a grizzly. Etsy seller BeefcakeCraftArcade made this. Everyone needs a hobby I guess.

This man-beast has nothing on me, with that little cheeto bulge barely hanging over the frame. My Hanes would be exploding past that frame. Well, yeah, that’s mostly because of my belly, but trust me, my cheeto bag is full too!

The seller has a special note:

“The fur is soft and you’re gonna want to rub your face all over it. That’s fine and encouraged – pet it all you want! But please do not brush or shave the fur.”

Um, okay. Absolutely no danger of any of that happening from me. Just so we are clear.

Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup: Mmm Mmm No

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cream of chicken feetThe good thing about this can of Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup is that you can use one of the talons to open the can.

Uh, thanks mom, but I don’t need any soup. I’m feeling much better now. Your choice of grocery store items has induced vomiting. As usual. You go ahead and enjoy yourself.
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