Tag: fuzzy

Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush

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Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush
Check this out. These Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush are going to look awesome in that Hellraiser themed car I’m building. It’s a pretty simple build. I’m just putting huge pins all over it so it looks like a huge porcupine.

Update: I just finished, but I impaled myself while opening the door.

2nd Update: Had to take it to the mechanic. Then had to hide the evidence when I found all 3 mechanics impaled on the thing. One on the roof, one on the bumper and one on the trunk wearing a ball gag. Whatever that’s about. This may have been a bad idea. Time to report it stolen, wipe my prints and act not weird.

Four-Eyed Hairy Monster Picture Frame

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monster picture frame
Put a picture of your loved one in this Four-Eyed Hairy Monster Picture Frame and all four of it’s eyes will stare at the picture, making it a super creepy and awkward gift, since it will look like this thing is ready to devour them.

It’s like some hippy Tribble LSD experiment with four eyes and no mouth. Hey, Starfleet has it’s dark secrets just like our government. Theirs just tend to be more high tech and freakish. I bet this is their work. Probably ended with Ferengi genitals being attacked by this thing while some Redshirts try to pry it off.
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This $15,000. Monkey Bike Is Bananas

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monkey bicycle
A planet where apes have evolved from Schwinns? Get your handlebars out from under me you damn dirty ape! This crazy Simian Schwinn is bananas. It’s nuts!

The only thing the seller says in the ad is to not get it wet. I can only guess it turns into some weird monkey-gremlin mode of transport in the rain. I promise not to feed it after midnight either. Can I just take it for a spin? I’m digging the whole chimp head hood ornament thing and the banana where a reflector should be. I shall name it Dr. Zaius.
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Framed Man-Beast Wearing Underwear

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man-beast in underwearCheck out this framed man-beast crotch, packing more hair than a grizzly. Etsy seller BeefcakeCraftArcade made this. Everyone needs a hobby I guess.

This man-beast has nothing on me, with that little cheeto bulge barely hanging over the frame. My Hanes would be exploding past that frame. Well, yeah, that’s mostly because of my belly, but trust me, my cheeto bag is full too!

The seller has a special note:

“The fur is soft and you’re gonna want to rub your face all over it. That’s fine and encouraged – pet it all you want! But please do not brush or shave the fur.”

Um, okay. Absolutely no danger of any of that happening from me. Just so we are clear.