Tag: accessory

Vegetabrella Looks Like A Head Of Lettuce

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

lettuce umbrellaKeep your head dry with a head of lettuce. Like cardboard, lettuce has practically no nutritional value. But it can You protect your head in the form of this lettuce umbrella. If you are dry you will Romaine calm. Even if it’s raining an iceberg on your head. Lettuce jokes are fun.

Lettuce rejoice at the Vegetabrella. It makes the rain leaf you alone. Walk down the street and twirl with this umbrella and you will be a real salad spinner. Ok, I’m done.
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Bicycle Banana Holder

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

banana holderAt last I can safely transport my banana from the store to my house without it getting a single bruise. This banana holder will solve that problem. You know how it is. You’re riding your bike, when you suddenly hit a huge bump, making your banana hurt so bad you wanna scream. Sometimes the ride is so bumpy that your banana just bounces around until it’s all soft and mushy.

This here banana holster will help. It gently embraces your banana, probably radiating a gentle warmth that is so nice and cozy that it only wants to be pulled out when it feels your bike finally reach the climax of that last hill as you gently coast home.

This holder makes for one happy banana. And happy bananas are healthy bananas.
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The Party Never Ends With This Swizzle Stick Cocktail Hat

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

swizzle sticksThis Swizzle Stick Cocktail Hat will be the life of the party. Just $120. from Etsy seller lovemarigold. This hat puts some swizzle in your fashion sizzle. My nizzle.

I made a hat like this once too. Just kept sticking those sticks in my hair after every drink. Yeah, I like girly drinks. So what? You want to get a girl, you have to think like one. Even drink like one.

“But what about your purse?”

“That’s NOT a purse. It’s a messenger bag.”

“I saw makeup in there and-”

“You saw nothing!”
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Turn Any Hipster Into A Cuckoo Clock With This Bird Head Brooch

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bird bow tieNeed to up your wardrobe? Just put a bird on it. It’s like a chestbursting alien, only it’s a dead bird’s head. And there is no blood.

Just affix this $95 bird head to your shirt and you are now a cuckoo clock. Maybe you can rig it to pop out on the hour. I hope you and your fine feathered friend have lots of adventures together. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Click through for more bird-on-man images.
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Realistic Handmade Taco Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

realistic taco purseRun for the border with this Realistic Handmade Taco Purse. It is great for holding your taco money. Obviously. It looks delicious.

I’ll just have two tacos to go.

But you already have one sir. Can I get you anything else?

No, see, this taco is not a taco. I need a real taco. Two of them.

Looks pretty real to me sir. Would you like anything to drink?

JUST GIVE ME @&%$**$# TACO! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT MY BOWELS BE ON FIRE THIS EVENING?