Zombie Cameo Barrette – The Accessorizing Dead

Zombie Cameo Barrette - The Accessorizing Dead
The Zombie Cameo Barrette is a stylish undead corpse for your hair. He doesn’t look happy about it either. I was wondering earlier if zombies went number 2. Aka took a crap. Then I realized that this is all they do. They crap their pants, they crap their skin off, sometimes their jaw takes a crap and falls right off. So zombies are the crappiest. They are basically nature’s ex-lax. This barrette is going to look great in your hair girls. No, I don’t mean that someone ex-laxed all over your hair. I’m just not good with words. That’s why I said crap like ten times here. I’m crap with words.

Cryptid Monster Necklaces

Cryptid Monster Necklaces
Accessorize with some cryptids. These Cryptid Monster Necklaces feature hand drawn images of the world’s most elusive monsters. For when you are in the mood to wear a Chupacabra, Bigfoot, The Jersey Devil or any of the other mythical monsters that roam our world, but remain in the shadows. Pro tip: The Jersey Devil is a guy named Earl who will overcharge you for a used car, with a body in the trunk, but you’ll take it anyway cuz you have to get the hell out of New Jersey.
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Brass Hellcat Necklace

Brass Hellcat NecklaceThis Brass Hellcat Necklace is gonna raise all kinds of hell. It’s gonna scratch your furniture up, knock your drink off the table, sneak some catnip and get all fuzzed up, then lay down for 5 hours and start again. Wait, that’s my cat. No, this necklace is just an awesome piece of jewelry that looks ferocious and badass. Here kitty kitty. Stop biting me. Are you getting drunk on my blood again? Bad kitty! Sorry. Again, that was my cat.

Meowzers that is one cool cat. I’d scratch it’s belly if it had one, which is probably a good thing cuz it would just kick at me with it’s paws and rip my hand to shreds. This necklace is so good it will make you catatonic. Which would be a catas-trophy. Which isn’t the good kind of trophy.

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box
I need another skull decoration around here like I need a sword in the head. But I do need a Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box with a sword in the head. Everyone come to my house. The first person to pull the sword from the skull shall be king. Oh hell, that came away really easy. Oh well. Feel free to rule over my entire kingdom. *Looks around at my filthy hovel.* Hey, where’d ya go? Fine, I’ll continue being king, but I’m going to war with all of you.

Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces

Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces
These Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces are caw-ing your name ladies. See what I did there. That’s just some wordplay to get things started, cuz I know how you like it. I’m not some savage who just whips out his bird (necklace) first thing. But forget all that. Throw caw-tion to the wind and accessorize with these awesome skulls, with sapphire, ruby, topaz, amethyst and peridot stones. Caws you deserve it. I promise you won’t cry fowl. The price? A poultry sum. I’m not gonna crow about it anymore. Even though they are worth raven about.