Any zombies in the house? Raise your hands! You in the back. Your hand just fell off. Some skin on your cheek too. Show of zombie hands, who wants this awesome Undead Zombie Hands Ring? Umm, look it’s hard to count you guys when your limbs keep falling off. And some of you are raising some hands that have already fallen off of other people. Some of you are raising feet. Whatever. I lost count. It’s really not worth it. Just wanted to show you all this cool ring, but half of you don’t have a ring finger. Guy in back who just raised a weiner in the air, I know the difference between a finger and a dinger! You guys are gross. I’m out.
Tag: accessory
Tooth Fairy Anatomical Teeth Bracelet
Through its clever use of dental related hieroglyphics, this Tooth Fairy Anatomical Teeth Bracelet tell the story of the tooth fairy. I think. It could be a horror story about a lonely dentist with two weeks to live and nothing to lose. I have to research it more. But it has teeth all over it. I know that much. It’s enough to make you bi-cuspid curious right?
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Sterling Silver Vampire Sugar Skull Necklace
Sugar skull huh? Let me take a lick! Hmmm. Tastes like metal, but I do like the texture. Guess I gotta supply my own sugar. Nah, I don’t, cuz this Sterling Silver Vampire Sugar Skull Necklace is gonna look sweet on you ladies. Sweet as sugar. I mean, I guess a man could wear it too. No shame in that game. If you get it as a gift just make sure you say fangs. It’s only polite. Fangs you very much!
Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring
Excuse me Miss, you have something crawling on your ear. Uh… Too late. It’s in your ear now, swimming in your ear wax and pinching up your ear drum. *Cups hands together and yells* I said, there’s a scorpion in your ear. Why ya looking at me all dumb? Oh. Damn. It got to your brain now. Well, good luck with that. *Thud* Wow. Never saw a body collapse so fast. I’m out of here.
This Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring looks badass and it will rock you like a hurricane. No joke! Well, that was a joke, but scorpions in your ear is no joke at all.
Frankenstein’s Monster and Bride of Frankenstein Coffin Coasters
When I drink, I don’t mess around. I lift that drink to my lips, drink it up until it’s dead, then slam it down on one of these Frankenstein’s Monster and Bride of Frankenstein Coffin Coasters. Then I bury it in the backyard. Okay, I made that last part up, but I’ll drink you under the table. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, come at me bro. *Kicks your chair out from underneath you. See? Now you’re under the table. That’s what’s up. Stay down punk.
These coasters will protect your counters and furniture, while looking awesome. Perfect for Halloween or any time you want some extra horror in your life.