Looking for an aluminum Chainmail Octopus Mask? We have one for you. Now you can be elegant and mysterious and yet be terrifying at the same time. I’m gonna be just walking around town wearing this thing, looking like a medieval Cthulhu. A swagger in my step. That’s right, I’m badass. You can’t buy this, but you can buy a book that teaches you how to make it. Consider it bought biatches!
via Spoodoir
Big feet require a big action figure. Big feet is what the Bigfoot Action Figure is all about. He’s a real American hero. This hairy dude stands 7.25″ tall and is articulated for some awesome Bigfoot-posing action. Pose him how he was in the Patterson film. Pose him how he was when your cousin Jethro spotted him carrying off the family goat. Pose him like he’s taking a sasquatch in the woods and his stomach is all in knots cuz he has diarrhea. It’s all good.
Santa Muerte? Is that like Santa Claus? Do I get presents? Do I have to wear a tacky sweater? Nah. This Santa Muerte Book Of The Dead Tarot Card Deck is a powerful tool for working with the mysticism associated with the Day of the Dead and Santa Muerte. Deal me in and give me a reading. *Throws poker chips on the table* I call. What do you mean I can’t call? Fine, I’ll bluff instead. No? Fine, I fold.
Damn son! Why is that zombie running after me instead of slowly shambling and letting me get away? That’s because the zombies got their hands on a batch of Double Caffeine Zombie Joe Z Bold Coffee. And so can you! If it gets zombies going all day long, it will get you going in the morning too. Zombie Joe! It makes life interesting! *Runs away from zombies at full speed.*
Look, it’s the Munsters! They’re in your house as a cool The Munsters Cuckoo Clock. Everyone knows they’re all cuckoo anyway. Bring 1313 Mockingbird Lane into your own haunted house. The whole family is here: Herman, Lily, Grandpa, Marilyn, Eddie with Woof Woof and Charlie the Raven watching from the tower window. The famous Drag-U-La dragster is even parked outside. Sweet! It’s a must for fans of the hit show.