Tag: art

Pill Necklace

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Pill Necklace
Here, I got you this cool Pill necklace. What, you don’t like it? Oh, don’t be a pill! Don’t worry, it didn’t cost much. I got it from DesignerDrugJewelery who makes all kinds of pharma-cessories. I saved up my money for a prozac bracelet. It’s drugs that you can wear as jewelry. Hang on, starting to feel freaky. Just need a little nip. *Licks my bracelet all over.* That’s better.

Actually all of the pills are sealed in resin so it’s safe. I just lick it hoping that one day I’ll break that barrier. I bet all the big pharmaceutical people are wearing this stuff. The pills in this one are called Protonix. It’s a treatment for an esophagus acid irritation.

*Sighs* If we all wore our drugs as jewelry I would look like Mr. T. trapped in my own necklace mound.

Good Ol’ Menstrual Cycle Poster

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Good Ol' Menstrual Cycle Poster
Check out this Good Ol’ Menstrual Cycle Poster. It shows the entire cycle and explains what’s going on. My poster would have been way different. It would start with a bunch of cramping and end with a woman chasing me with a knife, while clutching a box of bon-bons in the other hand and cradling a gallon of ice cream in the crook of her arm. Then when she caught me, she would slice me on the arm just to mark me, then tell me how much she loves me and how sorry she is. Then 28 days later we would repeat it all over again. Isn’t nature wonderful?

Thanks for the tip Calyn.

Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels
Don’t spend these Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels all in one place. What’s a hobo nickel? I guess it’s what you pay hobos for doing hobo stuff. I’m gonna be a hobo so I can get some of these cool nickels. Gonna ride the rails all day, look all dirty, carry a knapsack and every Friday and go to the hobo payment center where I’m gonna collect all of the nickels. Sweet! People are always calling me a hobo anyway.

That’s not what we call you?

Really? What is that name you guys are always calling me?

You’ll figure it out. Use your rhyming skills.

Well I- Ohhhhhhh. I get it…. Do they have nickels too?
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Donald Trump Weathervane

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Donald Trump Weathervane
Which way is the wind blowing? I don’t know, why don’t you see which way Trump’s toupee is blowing? This $15,000.00 Donald Trump Weathervane will be fun to watch spin around. North, south, east or west. You’re all fired! Now excuse me while I spin my fat face in another direction! Let’s make America fat in the face again!

This thing will make your head spin too.
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Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb

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Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb
Hey little Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb! Why so sad? Turn that frown upside down. You have a womb with a view. What more could you want? Yeah I guess it’s a little cramped in there. You probably want to be born already and leave that glass womb behind. Hang in there buddy. You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed, try trimester again. Heh. Just a little fetal humor to lighten the mood.

You look like you’re deep in thought. Kinda creepin’ me out if I’m honest. Anyway, try not to have such a de-fetal attitude. Get it? Am I annoying you fetus? That thing really sparkles. Do you use Windex? You sure I’m not annoying you? I’m just gonna pull up a chair and hang. So anyway, I never told you about that time…
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