Framed Man-Beast Wearing Underwear

man-beast in underwearCheck out this framed man-beast crotch, packing more hair than a grizzly. Etsy seller BeefcakeCraftArcade made this. Everyone needs a hobby I guess.

This man-beast has nothing on me, with that little cheeto bulge barely hanging over the frame. My Hanes would be exploding past that frame. Well, yeah, that’s mostly because of my belly, but trust me, my cheeto bag is full too!

The seller has a special note:

“The fur is soft and you’re gonna want to rub your face all over it. That’s fine and encouraged – pet it all you want! But please do not brush or shave the fur.”

Um, okay. Absolutely no danger of any of that happening from me. Just so we are clear.

Score: Van Gogh’s Ear

van gogh earNow you can own Van Gogh’s ear. It looks all hairy and nasty. I hope it didn’t look like that when he cut it off and gave it to that chick that he loved. Damn Vincent. If that is your ear, your could have just sent her some pubes. At least that way you’d still hear her when she smacks you in the face and calls you a degenerate freak.

Not that I would know from experience or anything.

Combat Garden Gnomes

combat garden gnomesThese Combat garden gnomes will mess up your day. They are armed, deadly, and full of attitude. Etsy seller thorssoli has several styles to choose from. You can buy a bunch and assemble your gnome army. Each one of these little killing machines will cost you between $76-$96.

There’s a heavy machine gunner, a minesweeper, a mortar launching gnome and many more. Let some jerk even try to trample your garden. They are in for a world of hurt.

Check out a few more below.
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Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup: Mmm Mmm No

cream of chicken feetThe good thing about this can of Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup is that you can use one of the talons to open the can.

Uh, thanks mom, but I don’t need any soup. I’m feeling much better now. Your choice of grocery store items has induced vomiting. As usual. You go ahead and enjoy yourself.
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Vincent Van Gorn Painting

vincent van gornWe all know that Doctor Who met Vincent Van Gogh, but it is not so well known that at least one Star Trek creature met the famous painter as well. A Gorn. Of course Vincent Van Gogh had to lose in hand to hand combat to be forced to paint the portrait. That is the real reason he lost his ear. The Gorn pulled a Mike Tyson on him. Only $595.