Tag: star trek

Spocktopus 3D Printed Spock Octopus

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spocktopus
I don’t want to give you a shocktopus, but here is a 3D printed Spocktopus. I would have picked Sulu myself just so I could call him Cthul-Sulu, but whatever. Welcome to the bridge Mr. Spocktopus. I’m Captain Kirk. Not sure where you are gonna sit with those…whatever they are. Uhura is already complaining that you can’t keep your tentacles to yourself, but don’t worry about it. She doesn’t complain for long, if ya know what I mean. Am I right? It’s a real sausage-fest on this ship and she likes to think of me as Jimmy Dean.

Captain Kirk is such a jerk
Gave me a red shirt
Now I’m in the dirt
And damn those phaser burns hurt.
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Star Trek Diapers: Poop, The Final Frontier

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

star trek baby diaper
Poop: The Final Frontier. I should get a pair of these, since every woman in my life calls me a man-baby and I do like to cosplay as Captain Picard. Doody-free preferably. I like my number one on the bridge. In the chair next to me. With a beard. Not in a saggy diaper that leaks and gives me a rash. Make it so!

I like my number two shot out of the photon torpedo tubes so it can freeze and twirl and spin before breaking into a million pieces against that Ferengi ship off the port bow.

“Any Klingons Number One?”

“Not a one sir. It all just broke on impact. Not a single bit clinged-on.” *Sly grin*

*Picard grins back. Sits back in the chair.*

Data looks perplexed.

Worf Sighs.

“Our work here is done. Engage!”

End episode!
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Vincent Van Gorn Painting

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vincent van gornWe all know that Doctor Who met Vincent Van Gogh, but it is not so well known that at least one Star Trek creature met the famous painter as well. A Gorn. Of course Vincent Van Gogh had to lose in hand to hand combat to be forced to paint the portrait. That is the real reason he lost his ear. The Gorn pulled a Mike Tyson on him. Only $595.

Are You Bloody Crazy?: Star Trek Captain Kirk Menstrual Pad

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captain kirk menstrual padThis Star Trek menstrual pad is ready and waiting. You decide Captain Kirk’s destiny. Will you make him the first Captain in Starfleet history to go from a gold shirt to a red shirt?

Kirk to Spock. I know we are supposed to go where no man has gone before, but I’m pretty sure other’s have been here. Personal log…It’s also…*hand gesture* very…dark…and wet. I want to beam out, but is she green? If she’s green, I’ll stay. Is that wrong? Spock? Hello?

WTF: Star Trek Kirk and Spock Body Pillow Cases

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spock and kirk pillow casesWTF in the name of Starfleet and all that is holy, is going on here? I did a spit-take when I first saw these Star Trek body pillows featuring Kirk and Spock seductively half undressed, so that some nerd can do a Vulcan groin meld all over them. Body pillows are for comfort, not for humpin’ and bumpin’ the heroes of Star Fleet.

Basically, for $50 you can come home to Kirk and Spock waiting for you in your bed. Ready for…whatever it is you three want to do. You get both Kirk and Spock so you are basically bones in this threesome. Just imagine, during the hot and heavy action, you can say stuff like “Damnit Jim, I’m a Doctor, not Ron Jeremy.”

I think Spock with his pants half undone is the more disturbing of the pair. This set just makes me feel all weird.
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