Damn. Those are some sexy Halloween witch shoes girl! What do ya say we hook up? I’ll make you curl your toes like a house landed on you. Baby we could- *POOF! Turns into a frog.*
*Poof* I’m back. Dang. Just sayin’ they’re sexy. Oh, it smells like you got something cooking in your cauldron. Also, do I smell bread? Does that make you the Wicked Witch of the Yeast? Is it done yet? Can I eat over? Please? Please?
*Poof!*
Check out this Mechanical Flying Saucer UFO Ring that really spins like a UFO. I have no idea how accurate it is. Never seen a UFO in the sky. But I have seen UFO’s at the local Walmart.
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Damn girl. You got a fine ba-doom-kadonk. Looking all rave yard in your graveyard. I’m just sayin’ I’d like to hold a rave in that grave. Wait this isn’t a guy right? Man, I hope not. That can NEVER happen again. Now shhhh!
These Levi’s Of Doom And Gloom ain’t got no room cuz they full of booty and pulling double duty. Keeping things tight with fright. They’ll fit you just right in your skull hole. Skinny or tight, how they fit don’t matter. After you buy ’em you know you gettin’ fatter.
And THAT is how you write an ad to sell your cool ass end of the world jeans. Because I noticed you didn’t. You’re welcome.
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Cheeseburger backpack! It’s got lettuce and cheese sticking out of the bun. Probably has special sauce too. I’m gonna be so cool walking into the fast food place with this on my back. They’d ask what I want. I would just point to my backpack. Give me one of them. A cheeseburger. And hurry it up son. Acne face behind the counter will know what I mean. That guy’s gonna think I’m so awesome.
Until the guy behind me is all like, “Hey, nice backpack, dude! Is that another one in the front, under your shirt?”
Yeah. I can never be cool. *sighs* And no, that’s just my gut, the bastard child of a thousand cheeseburgers.
This BatCape Poncho says I am a creature of the night and don’t I look fabulous?
Yes. Yes you do. Now stop prancing around in that thing and let’s go fight crime already! *Looks down at my leotard, elf shoes and boy shorts.* Why did I have to be Robin again? Oh yeah, that’s right, it looked like a pregnant bat when I wore it. Now I just look like a pregnant elf. *Punches one gloved hand into the other!* Let’s do this thing!
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