3D Printed Replica Of Your Unborn Fetus

3D printed baby
Ahhh, isn’t that cute? No. Fetuses look weird and freakish. It might be cute if it was cosplaying as a Pokemon or something. Or if it appeared to me in a dream with a little mustache and goatee, telling me I have to save the world. But no. Not cute.

This place will sell you a 3D Printed Replica Of Your Unborn Fetus so you can show it to your kid 20 years from now and watch him or her wig out when he realizes he was basically a tadpole with limbs.

P.S. Just called my mom and asked her to buy one. She sent them a pic of my freakish sonogram. After that nothing. So I called them back today and their operation sucks over there. Bad timing on our part. Seems like they have a little suicide/madness problem in house. Plus I could hear crying and shrieking in the background, along with, “I can’t create that! Don’t make me look again! It doesn’t exist. It SHOULDN’T exist!” Click.

Wow. Wonder what their problem is! I haven’t encountered anything like that since the guy who actually did the sonogram had a look at the unborn fetus and went nuts. He immediately completed the Japanese ritual of seppuku in the hospital room and prayed for “humanity’s protection from such foul beasts”. Anywho, check out this weird fetus art.
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David Bowie Hanging Mobile: For Bowie Babies

david bowie mobile
It’s never too early to introduce your baby to the genius that is David Bowie. The best way to do so is with this David Bowie Hanging Mobile. You and your baby can be heroes. Just for one day.

If you bought the photo of David Bowie getting arrested, you could hang that up in the nursery too. Your kid will be listening to Ziggy Stardust in no time and will grow up to become a real Space Oddity.
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Jilted Bride Wedding Dress Halloween Costume

jilted bride wedding dressIt’s a nice day for a…White Wedding. This Halloween, go trick or treating as a jilted bride, complete with plastic naked babies sewn all over it. It even has one baby desperately clinging to the end of the train. I’m pretty sure I watched a reality TV show with this premise.

If you wear this costume on Halloween this year, you know you’ll get a ton of candy just because you have all of those mouths to feed. Plus people will feel sorry for you since some guy knocked you up a million times and left you at the alter.

The seller wore this costume to a Halloween party and won the best dressed award. She says she was trying to impress the guy who is now her husband when they first met. No worries dude, I would have screamed and ran too.
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Looks Like Fetal Mac N’ Cheese: Babies in a Can

babies in a canSometimes you miss the chance to buy an item and somebody else gets the score. That was the case with these babies in a can. I never even had a chance to buy them. I was hovering over the buy button, trying to think how many I had in the pantry and just like that, gone. Turns out, I was all out of ’em too.

Look at ’em, looking so creamy and tasty, all crammed in there, wiggling around. Yummy!

Avatar Sequel Details Leak: It’s All About Avatar Babies!

avatar reborn babyNah. No news to report. I just like to make a big deal of things when I see a crazy-weird and creepy little Avatar baby, who looks like he will grow up to rip the flesh off my nerdy skeletal frame. It is a reborn doll, meaning that an artist created it to look scary real and keep me awake at night. He’s available on Etsy for $145. from lunatoonyweeones. Click through for more images of the artist’s mad scientist-type creations.

Ahhh. Isn’t he cute? Who’s the cute little baby Na’vi? Who’s the cutest wittle Na’vi? I got your nose. Got your nose. HOLY EFFIN JAMES T. KIRK CAMERON, HE BIT MY THUMB OFF! SOMEBODY GET HIM TO BURP IT UP! I AM SO RAPING YOUR PLANET FOR RESOURCES!
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